The boys started a new school this fall. Both were nervous, especially G.J. I am so relieved and happy to report that they are both thriving.
We had their conferences, and both teachers had only wonderful things to say about the boys. Each boy got a teacher that was an excellent fit for their personalities. We are so thankful for these teachers, and for the other kids that are sharing their days with G.J. and M.C.
G.J. had become somewhat self-conscious about some of his abilities. The big one was handwriting. This has been frustrating for me, because in my opinion his handwriting is really neat for a boy his age. It actually looks exactly like my brother's. And my brother is doing just fine in his life, thank you very much. Actually, I am a bit jealous, since my handwriting is barely legible. Sometimes I am tempted to blame it on the car accident that crushed my right wrist many years ago. But the truth is that my handwriting was terrible even before that. And I haven't written in cursive since 3rd grade. I feel like I'm making it through life okay, even with terrible handwriting. I just need to write as quickly as the thoughts stream out of my head. I never had time for the beautiful flowing writing of other girls my age. So when there are so many things that truly matter to me about my kids' development and learning and understanding of their world, it bothers me that my son has been made to believe that he should worry so much about his handwriting.
However, at his conference his teacher told us how much attention and effort he puts into his writing, and especially his new cursive writing (and now you know how much I care about that :). But then she said something I will never forget. She said he often takes so much time with it that he isn't able to finish in time (big surprise - G.J. has ALWAYS had his own timeline for everything). Then she looked at him and said, "but then when he is done and he brings it to me - what's that I always say?" He looked down, a little embarrassed and mumbled something about not remembering. Then she said, "I always tell him, 'Wow, G.J., that was worth the wait!"
And I watched him glow in her praise. It was magical.
I saw my son in a new light in that moment. This kind lady had made me stop and think about how I approach and receive my talented, soft-hearted, and thoughtful son. He is always the SLOWEST at any task, and can't remember a darn thing or where he left it last. But he is always ABSOLUTELY "worth the wait".
I can't tell you how thankful I am for the two teachers who pour themselves into my boys this year. They are blossoming in ways that I haven't seen before. And when I see my boys from their eyes, I am reminded of how special each of them is.
So although I still don't place much value in handwriting, I enjoy seeing how hard G.J. works at it, and I realize how special this teacher is that he wants to please with his work.
You, dear teacher souls, are also worth the wait.
Our little J.T. is 6 months old now.
Time has gone so fast, and yet I honestly have a hard time remembering what we did without him! This little guy has completely stolen the hearts of our entire family. Chris and I love to just watch him. He is so expressive and funny. He is different than his brothers. The boys love to talk to him and play with him. He watches them earnestly - wondering what fun thing they might do next to make him laugh.
E.R. talks to him, brings him things, and also likes to make him smile. He thinks she is just about the funniest person ever. Which she is.
I joke with Chris that we are like Abraham and Sarah, and J.T. is the joy of our old age. He quickly points out that we aren't 100 years old. Or childless. True - but sometimes it feels like we're 100. And he truly is a blessing to us.
He gives the greatest baby hugs, complete with neck-squeezing. Sometimes it is hard for me to wait for him to wake up from his nap, because I miss him so much. I felt the same way when G.J. was this age. I secretly sometimes did wake him up, just to be able to play with him. I felt the same way with M.C. but was so tired and busy with a toddler that I let M.C. sleep in peace. I wish he had done the same for me at night!!
So J.T. is growing every day - about 23 pounds now. He is just sitting up, and is now trying new foods.
I can't believe how different our lives are from this time last year. I had so much anxiety about pregnancy, birth, and another newborn. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself how absolutely wonderful J.T. is. I shouldn't have worried at all.
So J.T. benefits from being the youngest of this crew because there is always someone to entertain him, or help him find his pacifier. (We had thought that maybe our family's legacy of paci-addiction had not been passed to J.T., but he realized how essential they are to his happiness at 5 months old, and has never looked back.) He is learning the skills needed to assert himself to get what he needs in the busy life we lead. He will be a master at soccer, baseball, and basketball by the time it his turn to play.
And once again, I get to watch my amazing, kind, funny, loving husband take care of a baby. When G.J. was born that was the thing that surprised me most about how Chris and I changed. I loved Chris more than I knew was possible as I watched him with our tiny new son. There is something that deepens and grows in your love for a spouse when you see them change diapers and wipe spit up off of their face. That same something deepens and grows even more as you see them helping a child struggling to read, or mediating a neighborhood conflict with your teary child at their side. It has nothing to do with biology, but everything to do with growing together in the hardest role of your lives. Chris is a master at loving his kids, and I am reminded of how much I love sharing this life with him as I watch him with J.T.
So I'm not normally superstitious. But I do pay attention to things happening around me.
E.R.'s first court date in Ethiopia was on Feb. 16.
Her second court date was March 16. No big deal.
Then Chris, Margie, and G.J. went to get her on May 16. Weird coincidence.
Then E.R.'s Shriner's appt. was rescheduled to Sept. 16. Getting weirder...
I just about fell off my chair when our social worker at Shriner's came into our exam room to tell us that her surgery had just been scheduled for Nov. 16.
Today the Shriner's surgery scheduler called to offer us a surgery date on Nov. 16. I told her that was already our day...
Now I don't know what to think, and I'm waiting for our next "16".
So as sweet and funny as E.R. is, she is also a spitfire. She has a temper, and her own sense of what justice means. I've never had a 2 year-old yell at me like she does when she's mad. And we've had quite a few 2 year-olds, all of them with tempers! She yells and paces and waves her arms.
So since she's been in our family, often when she is confronted with something she has done or not done, she gets this stern look on her face and she says something that sounds like "Hoh me!" She always has the same look on her face when she says it. This whole time I have assumed it meant something along the lines of standing up for herself. She has such a strong personality it makes sense she would defend herself. Even when I am frustrated with her, I admire her steadfast stand when she disagrees. Many times I have wished I knew what she said.
Then G.J. tactfully informed me that she is saying "YOU'RE MEAN!"
Oh.
That sheds a very new light on so many interactions. Especially because I haven't addressed it this whole time. Name-calling in our family is not tolerated. Chris and I don't call each other names, and we don't call the kids names, so we expect that they do not call us names. I'm not saying that they never do it, but we address it immediately.
Oh boy...
Well, at least I know that her "Farry Mommy" means "Sorry Mommy".
At least I think it does.
Shriners Children's Hospital was able to move E.R.'s intake appointment up to Sept. 16. Chris, J.T. and I took her. We were there for almost 3 hours. It was amazing to finally be there. 12 months after she was brought to Layla House, run by Adoption Advocates International, and 10 months after we received the telephone call that would intersect our lives with hers forever, she was sitting in the hospital waiting room to begin the medical intervention that was part of the reason that she was referred for adoption in the first place.
We have heard nothing but amazing stories about Shriners, so it was fun to sort of become part of the Shriners' family.
E.R. met the surgeon, had X-rays, had her picture taken, met the prosthetist, and got to see what her new foot will look like. We aren't sure how much of it she understood, but Chris and I got more information about what her life will be like than we had before. The Shriners staff was as amazing as everyone said. They all loved on our little ones - even J.T. who was just along for the ride!
So at this point, E.R. is scheduled for surgery to amputate the foot that she has on her left leg. This will allow her to be able to wear a prosthetic foot/ankle, and it will take away the pain she now feels at the base of her leg bone (which is where she bears her weight now). She will be in the hospital for about 3 days, and then will need to remain off her legs for about 2 weeks after that. From there the prosthetic process will start.
E.R. shut down emotionally for a bit after the appointment. She stopped talking, and her eyes were a bit frozen again. She doesn't like people looking at her foot, and as subtle as everyone was, it was obvious to her that was why we were there. Thankfully she came out of it pretty quickly at her grandparent's house. Thanks to Poppy (beloved grandpa), Grandma (who was with her in Ethiopia), and McDonald's french fries (probably needs no explanation).
She is on the wait list in case there is an opening for surgery before Nov. 16, but we are assuming that will be her date. It will be exactly 12 months after we agreed to be her family!
I have decided to write about the process as we go through it, so stay tuned...
E.R. loves for things to be dramatic. I often do too. So together we have lots of fun when something strange happens.
We got home from taking the boys to school and our faithful border collie/black lab was waiting for us in the driveway, all wet. Now she is ALWAYS in the warm, dry house. We have a fenced yard and she is not normally out front. She was VERY happy to see us, and very ready to get inside the house. As I was unbuckling E.R. I very animatedly asked her what was going on? Why was Kaia outside? Why was Kaia all wet? When did she sneak out? Etc. This is a normal conversation for us when a mystery is before us.
But today was different. Her eyes got big as she thought through all the possible reasons. Then instead of babbling back in her Amharic/English about what she thought, my Ethiopian-born 2 year-old, home for 4 months, looked at me, shrugged and said clearly in English,
"Just because."
