We have been assigned a court date in Ethiopia! It is February 16. So if E. passes that day, Chris will go for the embassy appointment a few weeks later, and bring her home! She will be 20 months by then.
We have been using our "snowed-in" time to put new flooring through most of the house, paint both kid rooms and the bathroom. The boys moved back in together today after 4 months of having their own rooms for the first (and last) time. Now that we finally have some space for our two new kiddos, it seems so much more real.
I love the work of putting together everything for a new kid. There is something special about putting together a bed or crib, figuring out dresser, clothes, books, and toys to decorate their room. I suppose it is because in the middle of the preparation they become real as I imagine what they are like, who they will become, and how our family will change when we add their little life to ours. Usually in foster care, we had an afternoon, or maybe a couple of days. This time we have a few months, but both new kids coming are gonna stay forever! That's the best part...
And it looks like (if all goes well) we may have a little time with our new E. before the baby is born!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
My December Gift
It's snowing this morning. We headed out to a friend's church to hear about some work being done in Africa, that I'm sure we will be folded into somehow. Chris has already been recruited by an old friend to play background guitar for a young singer/songwriter from Rwanda at a big concert in January. He also has a chance to go to Rwanda to play music next June. We'll see how things are going for us then...
So with the snow falling, and the kids outside playing, coming in occasionally for hot chocolate refills, I'm feeling reflective. Time to put words to something that happened to me a couple of weeks ago now...
I have wanted to adopt for as long as I can remember. As a kid, I would read the "Sunday Child" profiles in the Seattle Times, and imagine helping the kids I was introduced to. I always thought my kids would come from foster care. As our hearts changed after M.C. was born, we planned a trip to Haiti. The first mission trip Chris and I would do together. When I realized that M.C. was really too young to have both of us gone that long, I sent Chris joyfully, my jealousy quenched at the thought of my kids' needs. Chris had amazing experiences. At some point after that, our hearts turned to Africa.
With no money, and lots of kids to take care of at home, I started feeling a nudge a year ago that it was my turn. I made the trip to Ethiopia last spring. I fully believed it was the beginning of something for us - adoption, international work, maybe both. What I didn't get until 2 weeks ago is that among all those things that I was expecting, it was also a beautiful gift to me. Here's how I know...
I was at church, and my mind was wandering. (I'm sure that never happens to anyone else.) I had a vision. It wasn't a prophetic vision, or anything that I believe was happening at that time (since it was Sunday night in Ethiopia at that time). It was more of a mind-wandering, imagination-consuming, vision. Ever had one of those?
In my mind and heart I saw the orphanage director of E's orphanage make the walk from the orphanage/agency office over to the building that houses all the little ones. I saw her enter a BRIGHT blue room, smiling. She walked into the big baby room, where our little E. was sitting with a caregiver and some friends. Our orphanage director announced to all in the room that little E. had found a family. She said with a huge smile that a family had chosen E. and was preparing the medical help she needs. There were tears, smiles, and clapping as everyone rejoiced for E. It was her turn. Even though she doesn't understand, everyone else does. She is chosen, loved, and now waiting to go home. From that moment on, in the eyes of everyone caring for the kids, she is now not simply a waiting orphan, but waiting to go home.
As I wiped the tears in my own eyes, and realized that I was still at church and not in that precious room in Ethiopia, I had a new realization of the purpose of my trip last spring. In all my fantasies of what the adoption of my child would look like, never once did I imagine meeting them at an airport. I imagined a thousand ways that meeting would play out, and all of them were walking into their orphanage, and spending the day in their world. As a foster parent, I have lots of experience of that first meeting and helping a child feel safe. I love those first few days of placement as we are getting to know each other. So never once did I imagine those first moments taking place in an airport full of people. This was actually something I had work through when I found out I was pregnant. A few years ago, I probably would have insisted on going somehow, but this spring I was very sick for a couple of days in Ethiopia, and this summer two dear friends came home from Africa very sick for a long time. So my feelings have changed about the reality of risk to a newborn. I really questioned God's timing.
A year ago, I never would have believed that God would bring our new child while I was pregnant with another! So last spring when I journeyed to Africa, part of that trip was a gift to me. It was the ability to have the "vision" I had. I can see, hear, and smell her world. I know what the orphanage director looks like, how she smiles at special news, and what the walk feels like to the building where E. is cared for. I know what the rooms look and feel like. I know without a doubt how loved each of the children is, and how excited the caregivers would be at news of one being chosen. In my heart, I am there - at the announcement of E.'s future. And I will also be there with Chris when he meets her for the first time. All of these feelings and pictures in my mind would not be possible if I had not made that trip.
So months before I would ever know about this new baby, or of E., my Father was smiling as He watched me experience all I would need for the gift He would give me in early December...
There is now no jealously as I imagine sending Chris off for this amazing trip I can't participate in. I don't have to feel like I'm choosing between any of my kids. I know completely that God was working out the timing of all of it, the way He had intended, even if it wasn't how I always imagined. And my foster care experiences remind me that she will feel safe in our family, even if I wasn't there when she left Africa.
I love those moments when so much of the past now makes sense...
So with the snow falling, and the kids outside playing, coming in occasionally for hot chocolate refills, I'm feeling reflective. Time to put words to something that happened to me a couple of weeks ago now...
I have wanted to adopt for as long as I can remember. As a kid, I would read the "Sunday Child" profiles in the Seattle Times, and imagine helping the kids I was introduced to. I always thought my kids would come from foster care. As our hearts changed after M.C. was born, we planned a trip to Haiti. The first mission trip Chris and I would do together. When I realized that M.C. was really too young to have both of us gone that long, I sent Chris joyfully, my jealousy quenched at the thought of my kids' needs. Chris had amazing experiences. At some point after that, our hearts turned to Africa.
With no money, and lots of kids to take care of at home, I started feeling a nudge a year ago that it was my turn. I made the trip to Ethiopia last spring. I fully believed it was the beginning of something for us - adoption, international work, maybe both. What I didn't get until 2 weeks ago is that among all those things that I was expecting, it was also a beautiful gift to me. Here's how I know...
I was at church, and my mind was wandering. (I'm sure that never happens to anyone else.) I had a vision. It wasn't a prophetic vision, or anything that I believe was happening at that time (since it was Sunday night in Ethiopia at that time). It was more of a mind-wandering, imagination-consuming, vision. Ever had one of those?
In my mind and heart I saw the orphanage director of E's orphanage make the walk from the orphanage/agency office over to the building that houses all the little ones. I saw her enter a BRIGHT blue room, smiling. She walked into the big baby room, where our little E. was sitting with a caregiver and some friends. Our orphanage director announced to all in the room that little E. had found a family. She said with a huge smile that a family had chosen E. and was preparing the medical help she needs. There were tears, smiles, and clapping as everyone rejoiced for E. It was her turn. Even though she doesn't understand, everyone else does. She is chosen, loved, and now waiting to go home. From that moment on, in the eyes of everyone caring for the kids, she is now not simply a waiting orphan, but waiting to go home.
As I wiped the tears in my own eyes, and realized that I was still at church and not in that precious room in Ethiopia, I had a new realization of the purpose of my trip last spring. In all my fantasies of what the adoption of my child would look like, never once did I imagine meeting them at an airport. I imagined a thousand ways that meeting would play out, and all of them were walking into their orphanage, and spending the day in their world. As a foster parent, I have lots of experience of that first meeting and helping a child feel safe. I love those first few days of placement as we are getting to know each other. So never once did I imagine those first moments taking place in an airport full of people. This was actually something I had work through when I found out I was pregnant. A few years ago, I probably would have insisted on going somehow, but this spring I was very sick for a couple of days in Ethiopia, and this summer two dear friends came home from Africa very sick for a long time. So my feelings have changed about the reality of risk to a newborn. I really questioned God's timing.
A year ago, I never would have believed that God would bring our new child while I was pregnant with another! So last spring when I journeyed to Africa, part of that trip was a gift to me. It was the ability to have the "vision" I had. I can see, hear, and smell her world. I know what the orphanage director looks like, how she smiles at special news, and what the walk feels like to the building where E. is cared for. I know what the rooms look and feel like. I know without a doubt how loved each of the children is, and how excited the caregivers would be at news of one being chosen. In my heart, I am there - at the announcement of E.'s future. And I will also be there with Chris when he meets her for the first time. All of these feelings and pictures in my mind would not be possible if I had not made that trip.
So months before I would ever know about this new baby, or of E., my Father was smiling as He watched me experience all I would need for the gift He would give me in early December...
There is now no jealously as I imagine sending Chris off for this amazing trip I can't participate in. I don't have to feel like I'm choosing between any of my kids. I know completely that God was working out the timing of all of it, the way He had intended, even if it wasn't how I always imagined. And my foster care experiences remind me that she will feel safe in our family, even if I wasn't there when she left Africa.
I love those moments when so much of the past now makes sense...
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
More News
For those of you that have been asking and waiting for news, we had our ultrasound today.
The baby is most definitely A BOY!
G.J. and M.C. are very excited, and Chris and I are breathing slowly, and planning to pray hard.
Just kidding. Seriously, statistically speaking, this boy has got to be calm, quiet, and flexible. And Chris keeps reminding me that we serve a kind God, who won't give us more than we can handle.
Unfortunately for us though, genetically speaking, we are very likely in for a pretty active, wild ride....
We are excited to meet this new little guy!
The baby is most definitely A BOY!
G.J. and M.C. are very excited, and Chris and I are breathing slowly, and planning to pray hard.
Just kidding. Seriously, statistically speaking, this boy has got to be calm, quiet, and flexible. And Chris keeps reminding me that we serve a kind God, who won't give us more than we can handle.
Unfortunately for us though, genetically speaking, we are very likely in for a pretty active, wild ride....
We are excited to meet this new little guy!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
one and 143,000,000
So I looked through many videos for this post, and couldn't find a better one than this one that I saw on my friend Melinda's blog. It illustrates perfectly the difference between 1 and 143,000,000.
143,000,000 is a number so large that we need someone to paint a word picture to begin to understand it.
One is how the people who love each of us see us. "One" is how we are viewed by our Creator. He keeps track of all the billions of us, but each one of us has a face, a name, a life. We are each special as is only possible when we are seen as "one". Every single one of us longs to be "one" to someone else.
Here's the video, then don't forget to read the story I'm posting afterwards...
In the early summer of 2007, one mother gave birth to one baby girl in a city in Africa.
At the same time, across the world, one American family struggled with a new foster placement, bringing their kid-total to 5 kids under age 7. Five kids with very distinct, important, and often demanding needs. They learned to juggle priorities, tantrums, cooking, baths, appointments, as never before.
Later sometime that year, one African woman took this one girl into her care. She loved and nurtured one little girl who desperately needed someone after the loss of her mother.
As this woman stepped in to save one girl's life, the American family continued to care for 3 kids who also couldn't be with their mother. Even during the darkest times, God sometimes whispers "Just wait... Wait to see what I have planned..."
At the beginning of summer 2008, one girl turned 1 in Africa.
At the same time, the American father finished a job search that included 2 American states and 2 African countries. He accepted a job in another state. The family retired from foster care, and their kid-total went back down to 2. They moved 15 minutes from family, and unknowingly, 25 minutes from a children's hospital specializing in the very medical need of one young African girl.
At the end of summer 2008, plans were being made to bring this same one little girl to an orphanage for adoption in hopes she would find the medical care she needed.
Across the world, the American family made a difficult decision not to adopt an older girl and her siblings that the mother had met at this same orphanage.
September 2008, one little girl was brought to the orphanage and began the monumental task of settling in, and grieving for the woman who had cared for her. She adjusted to the very same rooms that the American mother had spent several days in. At the time, even as this mother believed she was to adopt an older child, the courage and fear, the spunk and timidity, the joy and grief, the hope and desperation of the toddlers captured her heart.
Also in September, the family adjusted to news of a surprise pregnancy, and began wondering what God had planned for them, and if they should consider adopting a younger child, since they were now obviously starting over again.
In early November 2008, a phone call intersected the lives of this family with the life of one little girl.
In late November 2008, this one child was chosen and claimed by one family across the world. The email that confirmed their decision was sent just as she woke up to a new day in her crib in Africa.
She is too young to understand now, but her life was forever changed last week by all the love and care that people in Ethiopia have placed in her one life. God had planned the intersection of all these lives long ago. No one knew it until now.
We are so excited to announce our plans to adopt our new daughter E. She is beautiful in every way. She has been loved by people in her country of birth, and is now loved by people in her new country.
To us, she will always be "one". We can hardly wait to meet her!
One Child + One Family = 142,999,999 orphans.
143,000,000 is a number so large that we need someone to paint a word picture to begin to understand it.
One is how the people who love each of us see us. "One" is how we are viewed by our Creator. He keeps track of all the billions of us, but each one of us has a face, a name, a life. We are each special as is only possible when we are seen as "one". Every single one of us longs to be "one" to someone else.
Here's the video, then don't forget to read the story I'm posting afterwards...
In the early summer of 2007, one mother gave birth to one baby girl in a city in Africa.
At the same time, across the world, one American family struggled with a new foster placement, bringing their kid-total to 5 kids under age 7. Five kids with very distinct, important, and often demanding needs. They learned to juggle priorities, tantrums, cooking, baths, appointments, as never before.
Later sometime that year, one African woman took this one girl into her care. She loved and nurtured one little girl who desperately needed someone after the loss of her mother.
As this woman stepped in to save one girl's life, the American family continued to care for 3 kids who also couldn't be with their mother. Even during the darkest times, God sometimes whispers "Just wait... Wait to see what I have planned..."
At the beginning of summer 2008, one girl turned 1 in Africa.
At the same time, the American father finished a job search that included 2 American states and 2 African countries. He accepted a job in another state. The family retired from foster care, and their kid-total went back down to 2. They moved 15 minutes from family, and unknowingly, 25 minutes from a children's hospital specializing in the very medical need of one young African girl.
At the end of summer 2008, plans were being made to bring this same one little girl to an orphanage for adoption in hopes she would find the medical care she needed.
Across the world, the American family made a difficult decision not to adopt an older girl and her siblings that the mother had met at this same orphanage.
September 2008, one little girl was brought to the orphanage and began the monumental task of settling in, and grieving for the woman who had cared for her. She adjusted to the very same rooms that the American mother had spent several days in. At the time, even as this mother believed she was to adopt an older child, the courage and fear, the spunk and timidity, the joy and grief, the hope and desperation of the toddlers captured her heart.
Also in September, the family adjusted to news of a surprise pregnancy, and began wondering what God had planned for them, and if they should consider adopting a younger child, since they were now obviously starting over again.
In early November 2008, a phone call intersected the lives of this family with the life of one little girl.
In late November 2008, this one child was chosen and claimed by one family across the world. The email that confirmed their decision was sent just as she woke up to a new day in her crib in Africa.
She is too young to understand now, but her life was forever changed last week by all the love and care that people in Ethiopia have placed in her one life. God had planned the intersection of all these lives long ago. No one knew it until now.
We are so excited to announce our plans to adopt our new daughter E. She is beautiful in every way. She has been loved by people in her country of birth, and is now loved by people in her new country.
To us, she will always be "one". We can hardly wait to meet her!
One Child + One Family = 142,999,999 orphans.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Here Comes Christmas!
Okay, so you may have seen this before, since it is a couple of years old now.
But now that Thanksgiving is over, the holiday frenzy has started. I realize that many, many, people's livelihoods depend on all of us Americans shopping and charging in the next 4 weeks.
But, it also seems a fitting time for us all to reflect on our values, the meaning of Christmas, and make sure that our actions line up with our beliefs. This is so well done, that I really wanted to share it.
Welcome to the Christmas season...
...let this be the year that we decide to change things.
But now that Thanksgiving is over, the holiday frenzy has started. I realize that many, many, people's livelihoods depend on all of us Americans shopping and charging in the next 4 weeks.
But, it also seems a fitting time for us all to reflect on our values, the meaning of Christmas, and make sure that our actions line up with our beliefs. This is so well done, that I really wanted to share it.
Welcome to the Christmas season...
...let this be the year that we decide to change things.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Ethiopia in my heart on Thanksgiving...
I think of Ethiopia every day.
I get so absorbed in life here it could be so easy to forget...
To forget that this life is bigger than me, than my family, than my own discouragement. That God has called me to care and intervene in this world. He has called many, many of us...
This move has been rough, but we are learning to stand in our new land. To stand tall in who God has created and shaped us to be. To not forget...
Ethiopia is definitely not alone in her desperate need. So many countries are hurting. As we adjust our lives to America's economic downturn, let us NEVER forget the nations, the people, the children and elderly, that have been hurting longer than many of us have had fresh air to fill our lungs, and clean water to drink...
Extreme poverty does not have to go on. But it will take God's people, ALL of us, to care, to speak on behalf of those who need us...
I am thankful today, as I think about Thanksgiving, for all the kindred spirits out there who refuse to turn their backs on brothers and sisters who are hungry, sick, and hurting.
If you are not already familiar with The Red Letters Campaign, and Children's Hope Chest, I encourage you to take a few moments out of your holiday weekend to think about how you might get involved. If God has been leading you, and your church in a new direction, a direction that is so close to His heart, then you must take a few moments to see the impact that other followers of Christ have decided to make. These are the small decisions that lead to big decisions that have the momentum to make true change - in all of us.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of us in the privilege we enjoy. Here's a short video to help us not forget that most of our brothers and sisters do not live as we do... And God expects some things of us.
I get so absorbed in life here it could be so easy to forget...
To forget that this life is bigger than me, than my family, than my own discouragement. That God has called me to care and intervene in this world. He has called many, many of us...
This move has been rough, but we are learning to stand in our new land. To stand tall in who God has created and shaped us to be. To not forget...
Ethiopia is definitely not alone in her desperate need. So many countries are hurting. As we adjust our lives to America's economic downturn, let us NEVER forget the nations, the people, the children and elderly, that have been hurting longer than many of us have had fresh air to fill our lungs, and clean water to drink...
Extreme poverty does not have to go on. But it will take God's people, ALL of us, to care, to speak on behalf of those who need us...
I am thankful today, as I think about Thanksgiving, for all the kindred spirits out there who refuse to turn their backs on brothers and sisters who are hungry, sick, and hurting.
If you are not already familiar with The Red Letters Campaign, and Children's Hope Chest, I encourage you to take a few moments out of your holiday weekend to think about how you might get involved. If God has been leading you, and your church in a new direction, a direction that is so close to His heart, then you must take a few moments to see the impact that other followers of Christ have decided to make. These are the small decisions that lead to big decisions that have the momentum to make true change - in all of us.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of us in the privilege we enjoy. Here's a short video to help us not forget that most of our brothers and sisters do not live as we do... And God expects some things of us.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Tagged !
I've been tagged by my friend Sharon over at Hearts of Hope. She was gracious enough to add me to an already-full team traveling to Ethiopia last March. I will forever love her for that. It was the perfect timing in life for me to experience Ethiopia. I still wistfully think of my experiences there every day.
7 Random Facts About Me
1. I could eat chocolate ice cream sundaes, pizza, fresh chocolate chip cookies, and smoothies every day of my
life and be perfectly happy.
2. I have lots of fears, but my greatest fear is to get to the end of my life, enter Heaven, and instead of hearing "Well Done", I hear "Good job, but what happened to all the dreams I planted in your heart?" I rely on this fear to help me overcome all of the small, daily ones.
3. I have been set on adopting kids since I read "The Family Nobody Wanted" by Helen Doss when I was 10 years old. I have read many adoption books over the years, but the tattered copy of this one will always be with me.
4. I have lots of people that fill my heart, encourage and challenge me. But my husband, Chris, is the one that I respect, adore, and stand in awe of, every day. He is my best friend, and the person I long to share everything with. I still am unsure of how God could make such a perfect match of two people in such a broken world. I thank Him every day for loving me enough to allow Chris to enter my life.
5. I love to dance and read with my kids.
6. I have parented around 16 kids for varying lengths of time. Our first child was 16 years old. I was 25. The more I learn about parenting, the more I wish I knew!
7. I plant fruit trees wherever I live. Lots of them.
Here are the blogs I am tagging:
Daily Life in New York
Our Precious Jewels
Selah At Last
Blessed with Raising Two Divas
A Family Without Borders
The Devenouges Family
(I know the rules say 7 - but this blog will tag 6 if I'm ever going to finish this post!)
7 Random Facts About Me
1. I could eat chocolate ice cream sundaes, pizza, fresh chocolate chip cookies, and smoothies every day of my
life and be perfectly happy.
2. I have lots of fears, but my greatest fear is to get to the end of my life, enter Heaven, and instead of hearing "Well Done", I hear "Good job, but what happened to all the dreams I planted in your heart?" I rely on this fear to help me overcome all of the small, daily ones.
3. I have been set on adopting kids since I read "The Family Nobody Wanted" by Helen Doss when I was 10 years old. I have read many adoption books over the years, but the tattered copy of this one will always be with me.
4. I have lots of people that fill my heart, encourage and challenge me. But my husband, Chris, is the one that I respect, adore, and stand in awe of, every day. He is my best friend, and the person I long to share everything with. I still am unsure of how God could make such a perfect match of two people in such a broken world. I thank Him every day for loving me enough to allow Chris to enter my life.
5. I love to dance and read with my kids.
6. I have parented around 16 kids for varying lengths of time. Our first child was 16 years old. I was 25. The more I learn about parenting, the more I wish I knew!
7. I plant fruit trees wherever I live. Lots of them.
Here are the blogs I am tagging:
Daily Life in New York
Our Precious Jewels
Selah At Last
Blessed with Raising Two Divas
A Family Without Borders
The Devenouges Family
(I know the rules say 7 - but this blog will tag 6 if I'm ever going to finish this post!)
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Wow...
I have chosen to not speak politically on this blog for a reason. It isn't because I don't have political beliefs. I suppose it is the opposite. My political beliefs are so important to me and so close to my values and world view, that I hold them tightly. I have strong beliefs. So I acknowledge that most of the people that happen upon this blog do too. And that is the reason I'm careful with what I say. I've never been someone to debate or try to change another's view. I'm happy to share my heart when I feel like it is safe, but it is for the purpose of allowing someone into my world, not to alter theirs toward my thinking.
All that said, I want so badly to post on the end of this presidential election.
I want to say that I have never had more respect for John McCain than while listening to his speech last night. It was possibly the most gracious political speech I've ever heard. As I wiped the tears away, and we all acknowledged how hard his campaign worked, I realized without a doubt that at any other time in history, Senator John McCain would have won a presidential election with no problem. I hope there is room for him in the new administration, and I hope for some rest for him and his family.
And I am still speechless over the shift in our country last night. Between Barack Obama's humble start (so much like most of ours), his racial background, his international ties, and his heart, my heart swelled with pride over my country. Not so much for him, although it is a monumentous win on so many levels, but for what it means that this country now values. I have some hope after too many years.
As I watched Barack and Michelle and the kids walk out on stage last night, I had an overwhelming urge to pray hard. That God would protect this new president and his beautiful family. From all the threats that come at a presidential family. But also especially against the thread of hate that still weaves its evil through some of this country. Please protect them...
And I wanted to share a poem that was on NPR sometime last week, that kind of sums things up for me in a way. If anyone knows who wrote it, please post, because I'd like to add that of course, since I don't know.
Rosa sat so Martin could walk.
Martin walked so Barack could run.
Barack ran so our children could fly.
I am excited to see the new shift in this nation. As African-American children look at politics with shiny new eyes, as the children of immigrants feel they now have a voice, as anyone who acknowledges the weaknesses in this country, yet dares to hope and dream for something better, we can all join the hard work ahead of us. We take hold of a neighbor's hand of a different color, and we now march together toward a new future of dialogue and respect, growth, and hopefully peace. I am proud that there is room for all of us.
All that said, I want so badly to post on the end of this presidential election.
I want to say that I have never had more respect for John McCain than while listening to his speech last night. It was possibly the most gracious political speech I've ever heard. As I wiped the tears away, and we all acknowledged how hard his campaign worked, I realized without a doubt that at any other time in history, Senator John McCain would have won a presidential election with no problem. I hope there is room for him in the new administration, and I hope for some rest for him and his family.
And I am still speechless over the shift in our country last night. Between Barack Obama's humble start (so much like most of ours), his racial background, his international ties, and his heart, my heart swelled with pride over my country. Not so much for him, although it is a monumentous win on so many levels, but for what it means that this country now values. I have some hope after too many years.
As I watched Barack and Michelle and the kids walk out on stage last night, I had an overwhelming urge to pray hard. That God would protect this new president and his beautiful family. From all the threats that come at a presidential family. But also especially against the thread of hate that still weaves its evil through some of this country. Please protect them...
And I wanted to share a poem that was on NPR sometime last week, that kind of sums things up for me in a way. If anyone knows who wrote it, please post, because I'd like to add that of course, since I don't know.
Rosa sat so Martin could walk.
Martin walked so Barack could run.
Barack ran so our children could fly.
I am excited to see the new shift in this nation. As African-American children look at politics with shiny new eyes, as the children of immigrants feel they now have a voice, as anyone who acknowledges the weaknesses in this country, yet dares to hope and dream for something better, we can all join the hard work ahead of us. We take hold of a neighbor's hand of a different color, and we now march together toward a new future of dialogue and respect, growth, and hopefully peace. I am proud that there is room for all of us.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Urgent Need - Samuel Phillipson
I know so many people are struggling in our current economy. The downward spiral seemed to happen so quickly this fall. I realize people have been predicting it for awhile, but it finally hit people's jobs and families recently. I know there are so many needs out there right now.
There is a family in Wisconsin that I feel an overwhelmingly urgent need to help. They are strangers to me, except that in this cyber-world of willing hearts, people really don't feel like strangers when you learn something about them.
The Phillipson family is connected to Ethiopia, too. Marty traveled with the same group I did, Hearts of Hope Adoption Ministry, to the same orphanages, just a year earlier than I did. Last month, he and his wife Carole added two beautiful Ethiopian boys to their family.
On October 4, their new son, 3 year-old Samuel, was in a tragic accident. He miraculously survived, but has extensive, permanent injuries. He lost part of a leg, his other foot, an extensively fractured arm that may need further intervention, a fractured pelvis, a colostomy, and had his back and bottom scraped down to his spinal cord in some places.
I know we are all more conscious of our spending these days. But when I hear about something like this happening, I always think "Next time it could be us". Maybe that's morbid to some. But we have no guarantees in this life. At some point, my family may be devastated by tragedy, and in this world, during those dark times, the kindness and generosity of loved ones and strangers combined is more meaningful than anything else. So the Phillipson family is struggling now, and it sounds to me like it is our time to make a difference in their lives, in whatever way we can.
You can send cards or donate money (tax deductible) to:
Hearts of Hope Adoption Ministry
6790 Moon Light Circle
Sun Prairie, WI 53590
Memo: Samuel Phillipson
100% of gifts will go to the Phillipsons
Or donate money to a bank account at:
"The Samuel Phillipson Fund"
Premier Bank
P.O. Box 38
Sullivan, WI 53178
You can also read more about Samuel on his Caring Bridge website (there is an online guestbook you can sign, and a journal his parents regularly update), or the Hearts of Hope blog.
There is a family in Wisconsin that I feel an overwhelmingly urgent need to help. They are strangers to me, except that in this cyber-world of willing hearts, people really don't feel like strangers when you learn something about them.
The Phillipson family is connected to Ethiopia, too. Marty traveled with the same group I did, Hearts of Hope Adoption Ministry, to the same orphanages, just a year earlier than I did. Last month, he and his wife Carole added two beautiful Ethiopian boys to their family.
On October 4, their new son, 3 year-old Samuel, was in a tragic accident. He miraculously survived, but has extensive, permanent injuries. He lost part of a leg, his other foot, an extensively fractured arm that may need further intervention, a fractured pelvis, a colostomy, and had his back and bottom scraped down to his spinal cord in some places.
I'm sure I don't have to say any more about what the Phillipson family is going through, and what they will experience over the next few years, as they help him heal and adjust. For those of you inclined to pray, this family, and Samuel especially, need it. For those of you who are good at writing encouraging cards, they would appreciate experiencing the kindness of strangers. For those of you that can find some extra money to help them with medical bills, surgeries, transportation costs, and all of the needs that are still coming, your gift would make a difference in their lives right now.
I know we are all more conscious of our spending these days. But when I hear about something like this happening, I always think "Next time it could be us". Maybe that's morbid to some. But we have no guarantees in this life. At some point, my family may be devastated by tragedy, and in this world, during those dark times, the kindness and generosity of loved ones and strangers combined is more meaningful than anything else. So the Phillipson family is struggling now, and it sounds to me like it is our time to make a difference in their lives, in whatever way we can.
You can send cards or donate money (tax deductible) to:
Hearts of Hope Adoption Ministry
6790 Moon Light Circle
Sun Prairie, WI 53590
Memo: Samuel Phillipson
100% of gifts will go to the Phillipsons
Or donate money to a bank account at:
"The Samuel Phillipson Fund"
Premier Bank
P.O. Box 38
Sullivan, WI 53178
You can also read more about Samuel on his Caring Bridge website (there is an online guestbook you can sign, and a journal his parents regularly update), or the Hearts of Hope blog.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Still Adjusting...
It has been so long since I felt like posting, that I'm sure that there isn't anyone left out there still checking this blog!
This blog has always been about expressing the thoughts I wrestle with, and hopefully encouraging others. Lately I haven't felt very encouraging, and haven't been able to put words to what I am wrestling with.
We're still adjusting to life in Oregon. To be honest, after the first couple of weeks, I've struggled with our changes. I've been working in an elementary school in a big district next to us. It is a tough job, and sometimes I'm not so sure what God is doing with/through my life.
Our decision to not pursue the adoption we had been working so hard on, felt like the right decision. I know it is the right decision. But lately I'm struggling with it. We have talked about adopting another child sometime in the future. As a former foster and prospective foster-adopt parent, there have been lots of kids we have considered adding to our family that have not worked out. We have grieved to varying levels many times. But this time has definitely been hard. I've seen pictures of the 10 year-old we thought would be our daughter in the last couple of months, and my heart doesn't feel like it is mending. I don't feel like I've released her to God's care. I would honestly still adopt her in a second if we could. Maybe there is another child out there, and at some point all of this will make sense. But at the moment I've got some honest questions, and my heart is still aching.
The other massive change that we've been adjusting to is a surprise pregnancy! We are excited, but spent several weeks thinking we may have lost the baby. I had the amazing opportunity to see this little one in an ultrasound 2 weeks ago. Our new little one is most definitely alive, and growing! So we are expecting a new kiddo at the end of April!
We miss our old community and small town so much. We knew it would be hard to leave. Chris and I both spent time in very community-oriented jobs and were very connected to social and mental health systems, as well as the state and justice systems in our county. I don't think this move would be so hard on us if we hadn't been so involved in our community. There is no way that we could ever feel as connected to our new community. For one thing, it would take the same amount of years, and similar jobs to feel the same way. But I also think the much larger size of this community prevents the same feel we are used to. We know this was the right move, but some days I fight an overwhelming urge to drive back up north and pull into our old driveway, or sit out in the backyard that we designed and worked so hard to make peaceful and beautiful.
So we are adjusting. Every day feels a bit different. We are grieving the loss of our adoption referral, which feels especially hard for me since I spent time with her and felt so sure about her. We are grieving the loss of our community and the home that we built and loved. We are rejoicing in God's surprise of a new baby, and marveling that we can never seem to predict His next move! And I'm now grieving a bit over the garage-full of baby and kids things that we accumulated over 8 years of foster parenting. We had EVERYTHING. (Chris was committed that we wouldn't bring any of it with us, and we didn't...) We also really miss some special friends and the relationships our kids had built as well. Starting over can never feel the same as spending an afternoon with friends who have weathered all kinds of storms with you.
So now we continue starting over. New community, new jobs, new school for the kids, new people in our lives, new church, and now starting over with pregnancy and babyhood, and accumulating all "the stuff"!
So I am still adjusting to this new life...
This blog has always been about expressing the thoughts I wrestle with, and hopefully encouraging others. Lately I haven't felt very encouraging, and haven't been able to put words to what I am wrestling with.
We're still adjusting to life in Oregon. To be honest, after the first couple of weeks, I've struggled with our changes. I've been working in an elementary school in a big district next to us. It is a tough job, and sometimes I'm not so sure what God is doing with/through my life.
Our decision to not pursue the adoption we had been working so hard on, felt like the right decision. I know it is the right decision. But lately I'm struggling with it. We have talked about adopting another child sometime in the future. As a former foster and prospective foster-adopt parent, there have been lots of kids we have considered adding to our family that have not worked out. We have grieved to varying levels many times. But this time has definitely been hard. I've seen pictures of the 10 year-old we thought would be our daughter in the last couple of months, and my heart doesn't feel like it is mending. I don't feel like I've released her to God's care. I would honestly still adopt her in a second if we could. Maybe there is another child out there, and at some point all of this will make sense. But at the moment I've got some honest questions, and my heart is still aching.
The other massive change that we've been adjusting to is a surprise pregnancy! We are excited, but spent several weeks thinking we may have lost the baby. I had the amazing opportunity to see this little one in an ultrasound 2 weeks ago. Our new little one is most definitely alive, and growing! So we are expecting a new kiddo at the end of April!
We miss our old community and small town so much. We knew it would be hard to leave. Chris and I both spent time in very community-oriented jobs and were very connected to social and mental health systems, as well as the state and justice systems in our county. I don't think this move would be so hard on us if we hadn't been so involved in our community. There is no way that we could ever feel as connected to our new community. For one thing, it would take the same amount of years, and similar jobs to feel the same way. But I also think the much larger size of this community prevents the same feel we are used to. We know this was the right move, but some days I fight an overwhelming urge to drive back up north and pull into our old driveway, or sit out in the backyard that we designed and worked so hard to make peaceful and beautiful.
So we are adjusting. Every day feels a bit different. We are grieving the loss of our adoption referral, which feels especially hard for me since I spent time with her and felt so sure about her. We are grieving the loss of our community and the home that we built and loved. We are rejoicing in God's surprise of a new baby, and marveling that we can never seem to predict His next move! And I'm now grieving a bit over the garage-full of baby and kids things that we accumulated over 8 years of foster parenting. We had EVERYTHING. (Chris was committed that we wouldn't bring any of it with us, and we didn't...) We also really miss some special friends and the relationships our kids had built as well. Starting over can never feel the same as spending an afternoon with friends who have weathered all kinds of storms with you.
So now we continue starting over. New community, new jobs, new school for the kids, new people in our lives, new church, and now starting over with pregnancy and babyhood, and accumulating all "the stuff"!
So I am still adjusting to this new life...
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Adoption Change
We have adoption news, but unfortunately, it is the sad kind.
In early July, Ethiopia let our agency know that the girl we were in the process to adopt needed to be adopted with her 2 older sisters (who had not been placed for adoption). This situation is happening to other families this summer as Ethiopia has decided to require agencies to seek out siblings not placed by birth families for adoption in an effort to allow kids to grow up together.
This decision has been on our hearts as we have made our move to Oregon this summer. These are beautiful girls, and I wish we could announce that we would be adopting all 3. But Chris and I, in consultation with friends, family, our Heavenly Father, and our agency, have come to the conclusion that these girls are meant for another family. We are sad, but feel peace with the decision that is right for all of us.
At this point we have decided to join the waiting list for a referral of a child younger than M.C. That feels like the best fit for our family. We pray for the girls that they find an amazing family in God's timing. We know He hasn't forgotten our hearts either. We wait in anticipation to see what He has cookin' up for us...
In early July, Ethiopia let our agency know that the girl we were in the process to adopt needed to be adopted with her 2 older sisters (who had not been placed for adoption). This situation is happening to other families this summer as Ethiopia has decided to require agencies to seek out siblings not placed by birth families for adoption in an effort to allow kids to grow up together.
This decision has been on our hearts as we have made our move to Oregon this summer. These are beautiful girls, and I wish we could announce that we would be adopting all 3. But Chris and I, in consultation with friends, family, our Heavenly Father, and our agency, have come to the conclusion that these girls are meant for another family. We are sad, but feel peace with the decision that is right for all of us.
At this point we have decided to join the waiting list for a referral of a child younger than M.C. That feels like the best fit for our family. We pray for the girls that they find an amazing family in God's timing. We know He hasn't forgotten our hearts either. We wait in anticipation to see what He has cookin' up for us...
Thursday, August 28, 2008
The Diamond Blogger Award?!
Melinda over at The Devenouges Family's Ethiopian Adoption Adventure has nominated me for the Diamond Blogger Award. I'm still new to some of this blogging world, but I know enough to know that I am really honored to be nominated! I checked out the other bloggers she nominated with me and loved their blogs. What friendly, supportive, eloquent, wise people there are in this blogosphere! I enjoyed getting to know them.
Melinda is such an inspiration to so many that I am touched that she thought of me.
So, in true blogger fashion, I am nominating some bloggers whose diamond-sparkle lights up my world:
Maria at Our Precious Jewels - for her faith, dedication to orphans, pursuit of God's call on her life, and encouragement to so many.
Lynn at Middle East Crazies - for her strong faith and loving heart that are so evident in her words.
Sharon at Hearts of Hope - for her honesty, encouragement, and leadership in orphan relief and adoption.
Rich at No More Counting the Cost - for his penetrating thoughts, vivid descriptions of Ethiopia, and contagious love for orphans. (this blog had more to do with my decision to go to Ethiopia than anything else)
Angel at The Voice of Adventure (you can't give her too many awards in my opinion :) - for her heart, humility, and love for others. Lead the way, my friend!
And to all the other bloggers who have influenced my life already, and to those whose path I will cross in the future.
This world is full of jewels!
Melinda is such an inspiration to so many that I am touched that she thought of me.
So, in true blogger fashion, I am nominating some bloggers whose diamond-sparkle lights up my world:
Maria at Our Precious Jewels - for her faith, dedication to orphans, pursuit of God's call on her life, and encouragement to so many.
Lynn at Middle East Crazies - for her strong faith and loving heart that are so evident in her words.
Sharon at Hearts of Hope - for her honesty, encouragement, and leadership in orphan relief and adoption.
Rich at No More Counting the Cost - for his penetrating thoughts, vivid descriptions of Ethiopia, and contagious love for orphans. (this blog had more to do with my decision to go to Ethiopia than anything else)
Angel at The Voice of Adventure (you can't give her too many awards in my opinion :) - for her heart, humility, and love for others. Lead the way, my friend!
And to all the other bloggers who have influenced my life already, and to those whose path I will cross in the future.
This world is full of jewels!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Olympic story - Samia and Abdi - Did you miss it?
I have loved the Olympics since before I can remember.
There is something so special about such an international event. As a kid, I would imagine myself 4 years from then, what my life would be like, and what the athletes would be like. Four years was so long and would include so many changes for all us.
I love watching new, young athletes starting their careers, at the same time that dedicated legends are ending theirs. Standing ovations for the amazing beginners, and for the "elders" (many younger than I am now!) ready to move to a new phase in life. Somehow, for me, it carried an important rhythm to my life, to everyone's lives.
It is fun now to share these games with my kids, as my mom did with me. To cheer for our country as we win, and to hold our breath as we lose. There is something so awe-inspiring to watch people who dedicate so much of their lives to their physical strength and abilities. To be honest, I can't really relate, unless I stretch their dedication to compare to how much of my life I dedicate to the things I care about.
So as the games end, I imagine where we will all be in 4 years, when the summer Olympics comes to us once again.
And then I came across this article. I am so thankful for stories of people like Samia Yusuf Omar and Abdi Said Ibrahim from Somalia. They rip us out of the comfort of our living room couches. They teach us so much about sacrifice, dedication, and character. To read their stories and what they've gone through in their country to be Olympic athletes leaves me speechless. In this country with stadiums, swimming pools, organized sports everywhere, and coaches looking for young people to train, it is hard to imagine what these two, and so many others go through every day to train in their sport.
During special times like the Olympics, we still need to remember the inequity in this world. To break world records makes some athletes the best in the world. I would never want to take any of their glory from them. But these are the athletes that had the opportunity to train and dream along a path made available to them. I'm absolutely sure there are world records that will never be made because the athletes without these chances are held back by war, extreme poverty, famine, disease and the devastation of their families because of all of these tragedies.
The Olympics are full of stories of hope and dreams, and the incredible attainment of goals in the face of adversity. The stories make us all feel like we have the ability to be champions - at something, anyway. But we must remember that the playing fields are not equal. We live in a world where some have meticulously cared-for playing fields, while some have only rugged, makeshift playing fields. And then there are our brothers and sisters who won't actually see a playing field until they leave their land and visit someone else's.
And athletes like Samia and Abdi should keep the rest of us humble, and should keep us focused on the international work that truly matters, long after the Olympic trials fade from our memories.
There is something so special about such an international event. As a kid, I would imagine myself 4 years from then, what my life would be like, and what the athletes would be like. Four years was so long and would include so many changes for all us.
I love watching new, young athletes starting their careers, at the same time that dedicated legends are ending theirs. Standing ovations for the amazing beginners, and for the "elders" (many younger than I am now!) ready to move to a new phase in life. Somehow, for me, it carried an important rhythm to my life, to everyone's lives.
It is fun now to share these games with my kids, as my mom did with me. To cheer for our country as we win, and to hold our breath as we lose. There is something so awe-inspiring to watch people who dedicate so much of their lives to their physical strength and abilities. To be honest, I can't really relate, unless I stretch their dedication to compare to how much of my life I dedicate to the things I care about.
So as the games end, I imagine where we will all be in 4 years, when the summer Olympics comes to us once again.
And then I came across this article. I am so thankful for stories of people like Samia Yusuf Omar and Abdi Said Ibrahim from Somalia. They rip us out of the comfort of our living room couches. They teach us so much about sacrifice, dedication, and character. To read their stories and what they've gone through in their country to be Olympic athletes leaves me speechless. In this country with stadiums, swimming pools, organized sports everywhere, and coaches looking for young people to train, it is hard to imagine what these two, and so many others go through every day to train in their sport.
During special times like the Olympics, we still need to remember the inequity in this world. To break world records makes some athletes the best in the world. I would never want to take any of their glory from them. But these are the athletes that had the opportunity to train and dream along a path made available to them. I'm absolutely sure there are world records that will never be made because the athletes without these chances are held back by war, extreme poverty, famine, disease and the devastation of their families because of all of these tragedies.
The Olympics are full of stories of hope and dreams, and the incredible attainment of goals in the face of adversity. The stories make us all feel like we have the ability to be champions - at something, anyway. But we must remember that the playing fields are not equal. We live in a world where some have meticulously cared-for playing fields, while some have only rugged, makeshift playing fields. And then there are our brothers and sisters who won't actually see a playing field until they leave their land and visit someone else's.
And athletes like Samia and Abdi should keep the rest of us humble, and should keep us focused on the international work that truly matters, long after the Olympic trials fade from our memories.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Letting Go...
Yesterday, the boys and I traveled a couple of hours to see our 3 foster kids for possibly the last time. In several days they will be leaving their relative-placement to return to their mom. I normally don't write much about our foster kids to protect their confidentiality. But they are such a major part of my life and thoughts and "willing hearts" experience that I feel like I have to write something.
It is hard to say good-bye to kids who have shared our lives. We've changed their diapers, caught them after their first step, nursed them through serious illnesses, held their hand on the first day of school, attended parent-teacher conferences, all those things that parents remember about their kids. The difference is that we'll never be able to tell them about those experiences. They will return to the mother that gave them life, and we truly hope for the best. But they will have holes in their memories of childhood because all those experiences and memories will remain with us.
These particular kids were our longest placement. We took them on an emergency placement, agreeing to take the baby the day before they came. One of the girls and I spent over a year going to speech therapy, trying to help her become understandable. The youngest and I spent an evening in our urgent care pediatric clinic getting stitches in his chin. His are still the only stitches I have experienced with any of my kids. As I held him for the last time, my heart broke. I was really going to walk away from my baby! He really thought Chris and I were his parents. And in many ways, he really did feel like our son. As we prepared for them to leave us in July, Chris said, "it feels like he's the only one who didn't get the memo - that we aren't his parents". You can't explain moving to a new family to a 23 month-old. At least not when he's been with you so long he doesn't remember coming to your house.
I pulled myself together because in foster parenting we put on a cheerful smile so kids feel safe, even though we all know that things aren't okay. It always feels dishonest, like I'm invalidating the emotions screaming in everyone's hearts, but what else can we do? It doesn't help to tell kids what we really think, because they need some hope that things will be okay.
The look in the oldest's eyes hurt me so much. This is the one child in all our years who directly asked us to adopt her. My heart hurts for this bright, talented, wise girl who feels lost in this confusing world. I pray for God to surround her with people she can cling to when she needs them. I worry about all the kids, but my heart aches for her as I say good-bye. She is so brave in the face of so much she doesn't understand.
I am trying to believe that God's plan for these kids, "my" kids, is to return to their mom. The alternative is that our children's division didn't do what they needed to do, when they should have done it, and all of us, especially these 3, have been hurt because of it.
Today I am trying to release these precious kids to God's care. He will be the only one to remain in their lives. The 4 families that have sheltered them over the last 16 months, will lose track of them and move on. The kids will need their perfect Father as they try to figure out their family.
Our placement before these kids was a little girl that came to us at 9 months old. She also was our baby. Her mom worked hard on her recovery, and we worked to build a positive, supportive relationship with her. This little girl the 3 of us shared was a confident toddler when Chris and I took her to her mom and said good-bye for the last time. It felt so great to be able to facilitate her move. No workers, just the 3 parents who had shared this girl's life. It felt so good to feel like a link in a successful chain to get this kid where she needed to be. 14 months later, I felt like I got kicked in the stomach when I got the email that she and her brother (who we had also had) were coming back into foster care. The kids were separated, and our little girl is now doing great and getting adopted by herself. We lost track of her brother and her mom.
So it is with apprehension that we try to give our blessing to our kids' return to their mom. There are so many factors affecting the success of this family, that we can't help but worry. And if the email goes out for them, will any of the families they know be available for them? We can't know, so we can only pray. - For their hearts to stay open to trust and love. For faith to hold onto when people can't be trusted. And for hope to steady them when they can't see very far in front of them.
I am trying to let go, because there really is no other choice.
They will always be part of our family. I hope that God allows us to cross paths again. And once again, to be perfectly honest, foster care stinks.
It is hard to say good-bye to kids who have shared our lives. We've changed their diapers, caught them after their first step, nursed them through serious illnesses, held their hand on the first day of school, attended parent-teacher conferences, all those things that parents remember about their kids. The difference is that we'll never be able to tell them about those experiences. They will return to the mother that gave them life, and we truly hope for the best. But they will have holes in their memories of childhood because all those experiences and memories will remain with us.
These particular kids were our longest placement. We took them on an emergency placement, agreeing to take the baby the day before they came. One of the girls and I spent over a year going to speech therapy, trying to help her become understandable. The youngest and I spent an evening in our urgent care pediatric clinic getting stitches in his chin. His are still the only stitches I have experienced with any of my kids. As I held him for the last time, my heart broke. I was really going to walk away from my baby! He really thought Chris and I were his parents. And in many ways, he really did feel like our son. As we prepared for them to leave us in July, Chris said, "it feels like he's the only one who didn't get the memo - that we aren't his parents". You can't explain moving to a new family to a 23 month-old. At least not when he's been with you so long he doesn't remember coming to your house.
I pulled myself together because in foster parenting we put on a cheerful smile so kids feel safe, even though we all know that things aren't okay. It always feels dishonest, like I'm invalidating the emotions screaming in everyone's hearts, but what else can we do? It doesn't help to tell kids what we really think, because they need some hope that things will be okay.
The look in the oldest's eyes hurt me so much. This is the one child in all our years who directly asked us to adopt her. My heart hurts for this bright, talented, wise girl who feels lost in this confusing world. I pray for God to surround her with people she can cling to when she needs them. I worry about all the kids, but my heart aches for her as I say good-bye. She is so brave in the face of so much she doesn't understand.
I am trying to believe that God's plan for these kids, "my" kids, is to return to their mom. The alternative is that our children's division didn't do what they needed to do, when they should have done it, and all of us, especially these 3, have been hurt because of it.
Today I am trying to release these precious kids to God's care. He will be the only one to remain in their lives. The 4 families that have sheltered them over the last 16 months, will lose track of them and move on. The kids will need their perfect Father as they try to figure out their family.
Our placement before these kids was a little girl that came to us at 9 months old. She also was our baby. Her mom worked hard on her recovery, and we worked to build a positive, supportive relationship with her. This little girl the 3 of us shared was a confident toddler when Chris and I took her to her mom and said good-bye for the last time. It felt so great to be able to facilitate her move. No workers, just the 3 parents who had shared this girl's life. It felt so good to feel like a link in a successful chain to get this kid where she needed to be. 14 months later, I felt like I got kicked in the stomach when I got the email that she and her brother (who we had also had) were coming back into foster care. The kids were separated, and our little girl is now doing great and getting adopted by herself. We lost track of her brother and her mom.
So it is with apprehension that we try to give our blessing to our kids' return to their mom. There are so many factors affecting the success of this family, that we can't help but worry. And if the email goes out for them, will any of the families they know be available for them? We can't know, so we can only pray. - For their hearts to stay open to trust and love. For faith to hold onto when people can't be trusted. And for hope to steady them when they can't see very far in front of them.
I am trying to let go, because there really is no other choice.
They will always be part of our family. I hope that God allows us to cross paths again. And once again, to be perfectly honest, foster care stinks.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
The Promised Land
Have you ever had the experience of feeling like you were right exactly where you were supposed to be? That all the events in your recent past had been working together to bring you to your present spot? "Promised land" might be a bit dramatic to describe this feeling, but I couldn't think of a better one.
We have been in our new house in Oregon for a week now. We had such an interesting and exhausting house hunt. Chris and I were in the process of buying another house, and I actually felt sick to my stomach every time we went there. It made sense financially to buy it, and there were things we felt good about there. So why did I always feel so sick? We went to see it one last time before going back up to Washington. Afterwards, we drove around really discouraged and frustrated with each other, and this whole move. We drove to another house we had considered and sat out front for a few minutes. Chris told me later he was really mad that I couldn't be happy with the house we were buying. He drove over to another house for sale around the corner that he remembered driving by before. As soon as we pulled up, everything started feeling like it fell into place. We met two of the neighbor families, and felt completely embraced into a very loving and fun neighborhood. The house needed a lot of work so were able to make an offer in our price range. We found a lender that was able to close in about 8 business days with a lower interest rate than we had planned. All of the strain and dead-ends that seemed to have become our life, dissolved that day as soon as we got out of the van.
We are here now! Chris and I spent the first 5 days working all day with short breaks at night to sleep. We've almost finished painting the entire interior. This place ended up having many more issues than we knew before we moved in, but somehow God has brought people to help for each of them. One of our showers actually leaked right through the floor. The plumber came and gave us the quote to fix it. (Which was more than we had!!). Then, he offered to sell Chris the part and show him how to fix it. Chris and his dad were able to fix it completely. We didn't have hot water for the first 5 days, and it took hours for Chris and his dad to fix the dryer wiring and vent so it actually worked. Chris and his dad pulled the deck off the second story the day we moved in. We knew it was shaky, but it was only afterwards that they realized how close to collapsing it really was. They have almost finished our new deck, and it is beautiful!
Our kids have more friends than ever. If you ask M.C. what his favorite part of living in Oregon is, he will say "friends". G.J. will say "everything but the carpenter ants (another surprise!). The funny thing is with all the projects and issues that have come up, we can't imagine loving a place more. We never thought we'd be as happy here as we were in our small town, but I think all of us are. We live in a neighborhood with a yard and a few trees, but we are also a minute from the highway. All the schools Chris will be working in are minutes from home - the one he is at today is only blocks away. - And Dairy Queen is just around the corner, so we are set!
Chris and I learned so much about trusting each other and really waiting to feel peace that we were where God wanted us to be. The house we had intended to buy, would have been fine. We would have fixed it up and made it work. But we had no idea what God had planned for us a few streets away. So many times in my life I spend my energy trying to rationalize and make decisions on what makes sense in my head. I know why I do it, because then decisions make sense. - To me and to everyone around me. But what I've learned (and just been reminded of) is that when we always only settle for what makes sense, we miss out on the amazing life that God has planned for us. When we play life safe and sane, we miss out on the incredible joy and peace that God intends when we trust him to embark on a different adventure.
And the other thing I'm realizing is that just embarking on the adventure is not actually the point. There are lots of adventures that aren't meant for us. I need to seek out the peace that each step is really for us. Because if life is only about adventure, then it will be exciting, but without peace, it will never feel like the "promised land". With this move, I am learning that more than anything I want to be where He wants me to be. I don't want to miss out on anything that my loving Father has in store. The older I get the more I'm realizing that if that is my intent, then so many of the dreams and adventures I had intended, I can let go of. Because if I step towards an adventure simply because I want to, or feel like I've earned it or deserve it, I will miss out on what He intended a few streets over. This life is about the journey and what we learn about life and love and faith along the way. So instead of spending my energy trying to figure out what things mean, or why they happen, I am finding freedom in praying for peace and enough light for my next step. This seems to be a season of letting go of my expectations, in order to be open for what I can't see around the corner.
Chris started his job today, the boys visited their new school, and I had a job interview. Now that we feel that this is absolutely where we are supposed to be, I'm curious what God has planned for me here...
Thank you for all the support and prayers during this huge transition for us! We couldn't be happier or more at peace. We feel like we have entered our promised land...
We have been in our new house in Oregon for a week now. We had such an interesting and exhausting house hunt. Chris and I were in the process of buying another house, and I actually felt sick to my stomach every time we went there. It made sense financially to buy it, and there were things we felt good about there. So why did I always feel so sick? We went to see it one last time before going back up to Washington. Afterwards, we drove around really discouraged and frustrated with each other, and this whole move. We drove to another house we had considered and sat out front for a few minutes. Chris told me later he was really mad that I couldn't be happy with the house we were buying. He drove over to another house for sale around the corner that he remembered driving by before. As soon as we pulled up, everything started feeling like it fell into place. We met two of the neighbor families, and felt completely embraced into a very loving and fun neighborhood. The house needed a lot of work so were able to make an offer in our price range. We found a lender that was able to close in about 8 business days with a lower interest rate than we had planned. All of the strain and dead-ends that seemed to have become our life, dissolved that day as soon as we got out of the van.
We are here now! Chris and I spent the first 5 days working all day with short breaks at night to sleep. We've almost finished painting the entire interior. This place ended up having many more issues than we knew before we moved in, but somehow God has brought people to help for each of them. One of our showers actually leaked right through the floor. The plumber came and gave us the quote to fix it. (Which was more than we had!!). Then, he offered to sell Chris the part and show him how to fix it. Chris and his dad were able to fix it completely. We didn't have hot water for the first 5 days, and it took hours for Chris and his dad to fix the dryer wiring and vent so it actually worked. Chris and his dad pulled the deck off the second story the day we moved in. We knew it was shaky, but it was only afterwards that they realized how close to collapsing it really was. They have almost finished our new deck, and it is beautiful!
Our kids have more friends than ever. If you ask M.C. what his favorite part of living in Oregon is, he will say "friends". G.J. will say "everything but the carpenter ants (another surprise!). The funny thing is with all the projects and issues that have come up, we can't imagine loving a place more. We never thought we'd be as happy here as we were in our small town, but I think all of us are. We live in a neighborhood with a yard and a few trees, but we are also a minute from the highway. All the schools Chris will be working in are minutes from home - the one he is at today is only blocks away. - And Dairy Queen is just around the corner, so we are set!
Chris and I learned so much about trusting each other and really waiting to feel peace that we were where God wanted us to be. The house we had intended to buy, would have been fine. We would have fixed it up and made it work. But we had no idea what God had planned for us a few streets away. So many times in my life I spend my energy trying to rationalize and make decisions on what makes sense in my head. I know why I do it, because then decisions make sense. - To me and to everyone around me. But what I've learned (and just been reminded of) is that when we always only settle for what makes sense, we miss out on the amazing life that God has planned for us. When we play life safe and sane, we miss out on the incredible joy and peace that God intends when we trust him to embark on a different adventure.
And the other thing I'm realizing is that just embarking on the adventure is not actually the point. There are lots of adventures that aren't meant for us. I need to seek out the peace that each step is really for us. Because if life is only about adventure, then it will be exciting, but without peace, it will never feel like the "promised land". With this move, I am learning that more than anything I want to be where He wants me to be. I don't want to miss out on anything that my loving Father has in store. The older I get the more I'm realizing that if that is my intent, then so many of the dreams and adventures I had intended, I can let go of. Because if I step towards an adventure simply because I want to, or feel like I've earned it or deserve it, I will miss out on what He intended a few streets over. This life is about the journey and what we learn about life and love and faith along the way. So instead of spending my energy trying to figure out what things mean, or why they happen, I am finding freedom in praying for peace and enough light for my next step. This seems to be a season of letting go of my expectations, in order to be open for what I can't see around the corner.
Chris started his job today, the boys visited their new school, and I had a job interview. Now that we feel that this is absolutely where we are supposed to be, I'm curious what God has planned for me here...
Thank you for all the support and prayers during this huge transition for us! We couldn't be happier or more at peace. We feel like we have entered our promised land...
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
My Kids - M.C.
M.C. is intense. super-smart, funny, imaginative, and embraces life head-on. We have seen such dramatic changes in him during the last two weeks, it is honestly breathtaking. He has a kind heart and always looks forward to bringing new kids into our lives, but struggles with how to navigate the relationships and changes that follow. He longs for friendships, but sometimes feels lost with how to share that friendship with the other kid! He is the most physical kid I've ever met. He experiences life through his physical senses, although his brain is always working and processing at the same time. His emotions are intense, and we always know where he is at emotionally, although sometimes his moods change with lightening speed.Matt was a big baby. He came out screaming and embraced his new life loudly. His birth was very long and difficult for me, but he didn't really seem to notice! He immediately knew how to eat, so unlike his brother. He actually gained a pound a week for his first 8 weeks, making him over 17 pounds at 2 months! He didn't sleep through the night once before he was 2 1/2, and we still find him in our bed often in the mornings to this day. He had breathing issues at 5 weeks and he and I went through an ultrasound of his entire heart. It was nice to know for sure that his heart was healthy! The breathing issues at the time were probably because he gained weight faster than his little lungs could grow! Although he did develop asthma later, and we had a couple of scary trips to the emergency room. He has rocked our world in every way!
I also did not feel an immediate bond with this little guy, but this time I was expecting it. I was so drained of everything in my body (including blood) that after he was born I really struggled. In the hospital room a day or two after his birth he was lying in the bassinet, crying, and I looked over at him and realized I could barely move. My body was still in shock from his traumatic birth. But there was no one else around. Chris had gone home to spend a couple of hours with little G.J. and it was just M.C. and me. I prayed for strength, and then told myself that it was my job to care for this baby whether I had the energy or not. No one else could give him what he needed. And if it killed me, I wouldn't let him suffer because his mom wasn't strong enough to birth him! So I willed all the strength in my weak body, lifted him out, and laid him next to me. That took all the strength I had, so for the next two hours I talked to him. I only had the energy to speak, so speak I did. I told him about everything. Life, the world, his dad and brother, his house, and what I hoped his life would be like. He laid there calmly the whole time, staring at my face, soaking in all I could give him. It was during this time, that my love and bond to him began to creep over me. I was too exhausted to feel anything, but I willed myself to do what he needed and deserved, and the love started to grow. I have often wondered if that afternoon is part of why he is always the most at peace when he is laying next to one of his parents.
M.C. is complicated and challenging. Chris and I have sought parenting help because everything that has worked with G.J. and all the foster kids we have had, does not work with M.C. Chris is a behavior specialist, and has worked in a tough day treatment program. I have been trained in 4 different parenting models (2 through my work), and settled on Love and Logic for our family. I have been a Love and Logic parenting class instructor for the last year, and I am honest with my classes. - I may be leading the class, but that is only because I have spent so much time learning how to use the techniques. I still struggle every day with how to parent my kids! I write all this because Chris and I are not naive or new to challenging kids. But M.C. is a personal challenge to us, and we often feel weak and really bad at this job!
Foster care has definitely added challenges to M.C.'s understanding of life. One evening his grandparents were babysitting and M.C. got in trouble. During his time in his room he opened a small jar of paint and poured out piles of it on his bedroom carpet. When his grandpa and G.J. saw what he had done, G.J. exclaimed "We have got to find him a new family!" This comment still makes me smile because it illustrates how different my kids have grown up from anyone in a non-foster family. But I also wonder how much of M.C.'s behavior is to figure out how far he needs to push in order to move away like all the other kids.
I really believe that we sometimes struggle the most for the most worthwhile parts of life. God doesn't hand us all of our blessings on a plate saying "here you go, I did all the work for you". The best marriages require intense work and constant upkeep. The most fulfilling careers are the ones we really work at. The most beautiful masterpieces of art were painstakingly labored over. So I know without a doubt, that this kid is worth it all.
Sometimes I just picture him in 15 years, and what I want my relationship with him to be. It helps me muster the strength to get through the tough days. He will do incredible things with his life. I know every parent considers their child to be brilliant, but in this case, I'm pretty sure it can be proven. His gifting is extraordinary, and I intend to be at his side! For all the scary times and tears that Chris and I have experienced in trying to figure out this kid, I honestly can't imagine life without him! He has brought humility, depth, and intense prayer to our lives! Watching him blossom in the last two weeks as he is realizing that he is secure in his family, and truly isn't a foster child, has been worth it all.
Monday, August 4, 2008
My Kids - G.J.
Before he was born I agonized and shed more than a few tears about bringing a vulnerable child into such a dark and dangerous world. I was working in the sexual assault field, and had no clue how I would successfully protect this precious child from everything that could hurt him/her.
He was born with his umbilical cord around his neck, and needed oxygen immediately at birth. Chris got to help with that, but I didn't get to see him or hold him until he was medically cleared. The next challenge we faced together is that he just couldn't get the hang of eating. We had 4 nurse/lactation specialists work with us, and I fought hard not to give up. I had to pump milk and feed him with a bottle every 2 hours (around the clock) at the beginning as he lost weight. In the middle of the night one night I was so exhausted that I sat on the floor to do the pumping, and after I was done, I realized I was so completely weak and exhausted that I couldn't get up, literally. I sat there helpless, hopeless, and crying. Fortunately my mom came to check on me, and helped me get up, fill the bottle, and feed G.J. At three weeks old, I decided to give breastfeeding him one last try, and tried "the last ditch effort plan" recommended by the hospital. He finally got it, and started to gain weight.
No part of his birth or newborn days was what I thought it would be. I gave up all of my expectations of motherhood and decided to just get to know my little son, who needed to do things at his pace and on his terms. He didn't start walking until 14 months, and we were all a bit worried. But then when he took his first steps he walked everywhere, and I honestly can't remember him ever falling. He didn't start talking until he was about 2 1/2. His pediatrician tried not to be worried, but did offer us a referral to speech therapy. To our amazement and relief when he did start talking, his speech was absolutely clear and in complete sentences! People commented on his vocabulary as a 3 year-old. We've discovered that this kid waits and watches until he is ready. And when he is ready, he is confident and strong in his new abilities, and then quickly exceeds any expectations we might have been secretly hiding.
I didn't feel an immediate bond with him at birth, and I'm not ashamed to say that. I felt protective, but I didn't feel like a mom. For me, that relationship comes slowly. It creeps over me during late-night feedings and sleep deprivation. It grows during the stomach flu and while I'm adjusting my parenting to fit all the "special" needs of my kids. For me love comes quietly and slowly and it took me awhile to realize that it is okay. G.J. became anchored so securely in my heart that my life lit up every time he entered the room. I am experiencing a bit of those emotions again now, and it feels so good to feel like our relationship is back on track.
G.J. had such a great time in first grade in our small town. He had the best teacher ever and left at the end of the year with an obsession with putting together powerpoint presentations. Yes, you read that right... He had a great group of friends and loved his basketball team. I am nervous for him to start over, and his school experience is something we have weighed with each house we have considered. I am looking forward to seeing him grow in new friendships. His sense of justice is familiar to his old parents, and his compassionate heart is a blessing to everyone around him. We are looking forward to seeing who he grows to be.
Thoughts from a former foster parent...
We have survived our first two weeks as a former foster family. It has been an amazing time of healing, re-centering personally, and as a family. We are getting to know our kids again, and they are getting time with their parents (who are much more relaxed and attentive!).
People often tell us, "I just couldn't let go of the kids. I don't know how you do it." After 8 years of hearing this, I've developed a response that feels right to me. "Think about all the kids you have encountered in your life. Would you want to parent each and every one of them forever?" I bet that everyone can come up with a kid they aren't super excited about - now imagine this kid lives in your home!
The truth is with foster care, we only get a bit of information (and sometimes it is really inaccurate!) and only moments to decide if we will take a child. We don't get a picture or profile or have time to do much of anything except figure out where they will sleep. So many kids are confused, hurting, and angry. Everyone can think of a kid they know that in their hearts they are relieved isn't their own. Now imagine this same child was driven to your house by a stranger and dropped off, and you're not even sure you are spelling their name right. You now need to care for them emotionally and physically, even though the challenges you recognize in them don't go away.
Yes, we have loved kids. But that love must always be tempered with the knowledge that there are no guarantees of anything in foster care. Changes can come quickly, and kids learn to accept "I don't know" to their hard questions. To promise them anything we can't guarantee is dishonest, and foster kids don't need any more reason to distrust the adults in their lives. We have always been "mom and dad for now", because the major decisions are out of our hands. But kids need somewhere safe to live, and we are proud that we provided that place for so many.
We make the most of really hard situations, but no, we don't get attached to all of them, and sometimes we feel mostly relief when they leave our home. I'm sure there is someone that would say this makes us callous and cold. I would only accept their opinion on my thoughts if they were a foster parent themselves!
In the last two weeks we have been watching our boys figure out their relationship together. They are now playing more than they are fighting. G.J. seems more secure and less whiny. M.C. is like a different kid. He is talking like a 5 year-old, and is only rarely displaying the behaviors that were starting to scare us. With great relief I am realizing that he is going to be okay. Our son has struggled to handle the complex changes in our family with every new kid he has shared his family with. We are watching him realize he is emotionally strong and loved for who is his. I think he is starting to feel secure in his family, and I hope our move will only strengthen his understanding that our family is forever.
We have been through so much together and I hope that, as a family, we are stronger for it.
Rejoicing with friends!
We have good friends over at Our Precious Jewels that have shared so much of the last 10 years with us. We have been friends through so much of life and so many stages in our marriages and families. We share the same passions around what God expects of His followers in our communities and the world. They have encouraged and challenged us. Their faith is an inspiration to everyone around them, and the depth of their yearning to follow God's direction is humbling to witness. We have shared joy, tears, confusion, surprises, births, foster placements, and adoptions. I told Maria once I was worried that someday we'd have 8 kids each (and then we'd never be able to finish a conversation)! They are the kind of friends you hang onto because they have truly become part of our family.
They have the happiest news today and it makes my day to celebrate with them. They have been through a very long journey to adopt their fourth child. Many twists and turns, and 2 trips to Africa. The journey is almost over since the long-awaited passport is finally in my friend Maria's hands. We can't wait to meet this precious child whose life was saved by "willing hearts" in Ghana. I can't wait to see what God has planned for this boy, because I am positive it will be amazing...
We are so happy that he is about to come home!
They have the happiest news today and it makes my day to celebrate with them. They have been through a very long journey to adopt their fourth child. Many twists and turns, and 2 trips to Africa. The journey is almost over since the long-awaited passport is finally in my friend Maria's hands. We can't wait to meet this precious child whose life was saved by "willing hearts" in Ghana. I can't wait to see what God has planned for this boy, because I am positive it will be amazing...
We are so happy that he is about to come home!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Update on Life
The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind. Our house is set to close this Friday, so I am supposed to be packing right now!
Chris and I are now on our 5th house offer now, and we are so hoping that this one will work out, so we can move right after we leave this place. Yes you read that right - 5!
So now we are packing up our lives and trying to say good-bye to people that we have spent the last 13 years getting to know. We will miss this place incredibly.
I've applied for a couple of jobs, so we'll see what comes...
It has been almost 4 weeks since our adoption agency told us that the girl we are in the process to adopt has 2 older sisters that need to be adopted with her. That threw quite a wrench into our roller coaster summer. There has been much anguish and many tears for us. We are still waiting on their file paperwork to make our decision.
There have been other things happening here, but I've got to get back to packing!
Thank you to so many of you for all of your kind and supportive emails, comments, and phone calls. We definitely don't feel alone, and that means so much to both of us. I know that your prayers have gotten us through the last few weeks. And many of you have such wisdom I am honestly humbled to know you. I hope you have a blessed and bright Saturday!
Chris and I are now on our 5th house offer now, and we are so hoping that this one will work out, so we can move right after we leave this place. Yes you read that right - 5!
- One was a short sale that was pulled off the market,
- one was a back-up offer that was never considered,
- two we pulled out of because we knew they weren't quite right,
- and now this one...
So now we are packing up our lives and trying to say good-bye to people that we have spent the last 13 years getting to know. We will miss this place incredibly.
I've applied for a couple of jobs, so we'll see what comes...
It has been almost 4 weeks since our adoption agency told us that the girl we are in the process to adopt has 2 older sisters that need to be adopted with her. That threw quite a wrench into our roller coaster summer. There has been much anguish and many tears for us. We are still waiting on their file paperwork to make our decision.
There have been other things happening here, but I've got to get back to packing!
Thank you to so many of you for all of your kind and supportive emails, comments, and phone calls. We definitely don't feel alone, and that means so much to both of us. I know that your prayers have gotten us through the last few weeks. And many of you have such wisdom I am honestly humbled to know you. I hope you have a blessed and bright Saturday!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Farewell to Foster Care
Yesterday we took our last two foster kids to their new foster home. We said good-bye to the 4 and almost-2 year-olds that we have parented for over 14 months. Yesterday wasn't the outcome we had been working towards, but it was the best possible place for them right now. We are so thankful to the amazing foster family that agreed to step in once we knew the kids wouldn't be going to their relative placement yet.
We are just a few weeks short of our 8th anniversary of taking in kids. Our first kid was 16 and turned 17 with us. Chris and I learned so much. We were still newly married, 25 and 26 years old. We knew lots about her world of treatment and drug recovery, but not much at all about parenting. She taught us so much. We went on to have G.J. and get licensed and provided care off and on in the years that followed.
We have learned to say good-bye to kids who have shared our home and life, and what to do afterwards on the day they leave to live through such a massive change. This end was even bigger for us since it is the end of our foster parenting. We won't be getting licensed in Oregon, so it is the end of such a major part of our family.
The next couple of days will be filled with memories of the past, and kids and experiences as we adjust to a new life. When a child leaves us, it brings up memories of other kids in the past, as we lovingly place our latest child on the "foster" shelf in our hearts. They move from being an active, growing part of our family, to being a child we will always remember at the age they were in our family.
We say farewell to foster care with hearts mixed with grief and relief. There are things we will miss, but it is time to pass the honor to other families who have fresh energy and light hearts.
I may have some more thoughts to share about the ending of this life chapter in the next few days...
We are just a few weeks short of our 8th anniversary of taking in kids. Our first kid was 16 and turned 17 with us. Chris and I learned so much. We were still newly married, 25 and 26 years old. We knew lots about her world of treatment and drug recovery, but not much at all about parenting. She taught us so much. We went on to have G.J. and get licensed and provided care off and on in the years that followed.
We have learned to say good-bye to kids who have shared our home and life, and what to do afterwards on the day they leave to live through such a massive change. This end was even bigger for us since it is the end of our foster parenting. We won't be getting licensed in Oregon, so it is the end of such a major part of our family.
The next couple of days will be filled with memories of the past, and kids and experiences as we adjust to a new life. When a child leaves us, it brings up memories of other kids in the past, as we lovingly place our latest child on the "foster" shelf in our hearts. They move from being an active, growing part of our family, to being a child we will always remember at the age they were in our family.
We say farewell to foster care with hearts mixed with grief and relief. There are things we will miss, but it is time to pass the honor to other families who have fresh energy and light hearts.
I may have some more thoughts to share about the ending of this life chapter in the next few days...
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Big Changes Continue...
We seem to have changes happening every day around here. I would like to ask anyone who reads this who is of the praying sort :) to pray for us.
We received a phone call yesterday that affected our adoption in huge ways. I'm not comfortable sharing what is going on yet, but something in E.'s family is causing us to make some huge decisions. I have believed for awhile that this will be a big year for us, but I had no idea how many twists and turns there would be. I feel like we're on a roller coaster, and I'm gripping the sides for dear life, and trying to hold down my lunch!
We will let people know what is going on when we can, but we need some time to work it over ourselves first. Please pray for wisdom and strength in our difficult decisions.
Thank you!
We received a phone call yesterday that affected our adoption in huge ways. I'm not comfortable sharing what is going on yet, but something in E.'s family is causing us to make some huge decisions. I have believed for awhile that this will be a big year for us, but I had no idea how many twists and turns there would be. I feel like we're on a roller coaster, and I'm gripping the sides for dear life, and trying to hold down my lunch!
We will let people know what is going on when we can, but we need some time to work it over ourselves first. Please pray for wisdom and strength in our difficult decisions.
Thank you!
House News!
We sold our house! It has been pending since Monday. This releases so much stress for us, and opens up our options in making an offer in Oregon.
We have an absolutely fabulous realtor down there who also has the biggest heart imaginable and is quickly becoming one of our best friends! I am recommending Kimberly to everyone I know in the Portland area. (The problem is that besides Chris' parents, she is the only person I know...)
All of a sudden this move is becoming real. Now I guess we need to get this place packed up!
We have an absolutely fabulous realtor down there who also has the biggest heart imaginable and is quickly becoming one of our best friends! I am recommending Kimberly to everyone I know in the Portland area. (The problem is that besides Chris' parents, she is the only person I know...)
All of a sudden this move is becoming real. Now I guess we need to get this place packed up!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Priorities
I saw this video awhile back on a friend's blog. As we are looking at houses for our move, we are also thinking about our financial and personal priorities. What do we need, vs. what are we used to? Our kids don't watch T.V. and yet even with a toy-commercial-free life they still think about the toys they don't have yet constantly.
Today I'm thinking about adding our precious E. to our family. I have seen her country, and her orphanage, and I'm trying to picture our life through her eyes. It is important to me for my kids to understand that while they dream of light sabers, Legos, and action figures, in so much of the world kids don't get enough to eat. When E. came to her orphanage (at 10) she weighed less than my 5 and 7 year-olds - and they are very normal for their age. There isn't a way to reconcile or justify that. In planning for our move, I'd like to make sure that our choices actually line up with our beliefs.
I felt like watching this again, and thought I'd share it...
Today I'm thinking about adding our precious E. to our family. I have seen her country, and her orphanage, and I'm trying to picture our life through her eyes. It is important to me for my kids to understand that while they dream of light sabers, Legos, and action figures, in so much of the world kids don't get enough to eat. When E. came to her orphanage (at 10) she weighed less than my 5 and 7 year-olds - and they are very normal for their age. There isn't a way to reconcile or justify that. In planning for our move, I'd like to make sure that our choices actually line up with our beliefs.
I felt like watching this again, and thought I'd share it...
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Fun little surprise
This morning I did some contract work for an agency in town. While I was giving the presentation, Chris and the boys got the mail. In our mailbox was a video of waiting kids from our agency. On it was our girl, E.!
G.J. called my cell phone to tell me (although he was so excited I couldn't understand him). By the time I got home they had watched it countless times and made a copy of it. The clip of her is very short, and all she says is her name. But it is so good to see her and hear her voice! She looks older already. Her smile and beautiful eyes are captivating, and Chris and I were both immediately relieved that we had done our dossier so quickly. If she was still waiting, I have no doubt she wouldn't be waiting for long. It was the first time Chris had seen her other than pictures - pretty powerful to hear your daughter speak for the first time.
Somehow she became a bit more real to us today. We are all so excited to go get her!
G.J. called my cell phone to tell me (although he was so excited I couldn't understand him). By the time I got home they had watched it countless times and made a copy of it. The clip of her is very short, and all she says is her name. But it is so good to see her and hear her voice! She looks older already. Her smile and beautiful eyes are captivating, and Chris and I were both immediately relieved that we had done our dossier so quickly. If she was still waiting, I have no doubt she wouldn't be waiting for long. It was the first time Chris had seen her other than pictures - pretty powerful to hear your daughter speak for the first time.
Somehow she became a bit more real to us today. We are all so excited to go get her!
Monday, June 23, 2008
Big News #2 - Our addition
Okay, we are ready to announce some more news!
We are expecting another child - and she's 10!
We are officially adopting a girl that I met in Ethiopia in April! We have been working on the process since I got back. We signed our official agreement last Monday, and our dossier left for Ethiopia a couple of days later. I can't post a picture of her yet because our agency asks that we not post pictures of kids on the internet until they are legally ours to respect confidentiality and the wishes of the Ethiopian government. She will be known on here as E. and I'll post pictures once we make it through court, which won't be for several months. She has a beautiful personality and spirit about her that shines through her eyes and her smile in her pictures. She is more beautiful to me every day...
We are very excited! She is a very sweet girl, and was new to the orphanage when I met her. I had an amazing spiritual experience on my second day there (which happened to be G.J.'s 7th birthday) and knew without a doubt that God was telling me that we were to adopt her specifically. After that, I tried to spend time with her when possible. She speaks some English, and has a very gentle spirit. The more time I spent with her, the more I started to feel my heart connecting to hers, and the more sure I was about her.
Chris and I talked from the airport in WA D.C., and then again after I got home. We started the process one step at a time, always praying that if we were on the wrong path, that the door would shut. We flew through the process without intending to. Each step has been a breeze so far (don't forget that we are used to foster licensing which was a very long process for us). We have spent lots of time thinking, talking, and praying about this decision. It is not one we felt like we could make lightly. We're a little too weathered from foster care to be naive about an older child under the best of circumstances. But we feel that this is the right decision for her and for us. We are looking forward to the changes she will bring, and we are praying that our experience of bringing kids into our family will help us hold her through the tough times and grief that she will surely experience.
So last week, about 10 weeks after requesting information from AAI, our paperwork was on its way to Ethiopia. The kids and I listened to Ethiopian music all day to celebrate our paperwork on that Fed Ex plane!
It is fun to think that she is in our thoughts as we make all of the coming decisions: new house, neighborhood, school, church, community... She will be part of all of those decisions even before she gets here. The timing has been amazing. Chris got his job offer after we got her file and needed to make our final decision. It was much easier to commit to her once we knew that we would have an income, and where we would be living!
Chris and I have been planning for all of us to go over together to get her, but with plane prices increasing, we shall see what we can financially swing. Now that our house is ready to show, I can get to work applying for adoption grants, since this clan doesn't have much extra! Right now we are waiting on our immigration approval, and then things will be completely official. Then we will be able to let her know that she has been chosen, and will be coming to Oregon!
We are expecting another child - and she's 10!
We are officially adopting a girl that I met in Ethiopia in April! We have been working on the process since I got back. We signed our official agreement last Monday, and our dossier left for Ethiopia a couple of days later. I can't post a picture of her yet because our agency asks that we not post pictures of kids on the internet until they are legally ours to respect confidentiality and the wishes of the Ethiopian government. She will be known on here as E. and I'll post pictures once we make it through court, which won't be for several months. She has a beautiful personality and spirit about her that shines through her eyes and her smile in her pictures. She is more beautiful to me every day...
We are very excited! She is a very sweet girl, and was new to the orphanage when I met her. I had an amazing spiritual experience on my second day there (which happened to be G.J.'s 7th birthday) and knew without a doubt that God was telling me that we were to adopt her specifically. After that, I tried to spend time with her when possible. She speaks some English, and has a very gentle spirit. The more time I spent with her, the more I started to feel my heart connecting to hers, and the more sure I was about her.
Chris and I talked from the airport in WA D.C., and then again after I got home. We started the process one step at a time, always praying that if we were on the wrong path, that the door would shut. We flew through the process without intending to. Each step has been a breeze so far (don't forget that we are used to foster licensing which was a very long process for us). We have spent lots of time thinking, talking, and praying about this decision. It is not one we felt like we could make lightly. We're a little too weathered from foster care to be naive about an older child under the best of circumstances. But we feel that this is the right decision for her and for us. We are looking forward to the changes she will bring, and we are praying that our experience of bringing kids into our family will help us hold her through the tough times and grief that she will surely experience.
So last week, about 10 weeks after requesting information from AAI, our paperwork was on its way to Ethiopia. The kids and I listened to Ethiopian music all day to celebrate our paperwork on that Fed Ex plane!
It is fun to think that she is in our thoughts as we make all of the coming decisions: new house, neighborhood, school, church, community... She will be part of all of those decisions even before she gets here. The timing has been amazing. Chris got his job offer after we got her file and needed to make our final decision. It was much easier to commit to her once we knew that we would have an income, and where we would be living!
Chris and I have been planning for all of us to go over together to get her, but with plane prices increasing, we shall see what we can financially swing. Now that our house is ready to show, I can get to work applying for adoption grants, since this clan doesn't have much extra! Right now we are waiting on our immigration approval, and then things will be completely official. Then we will be able to let her know that she has been chosen, and will be coming to Oregon!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Big News #1 - The Move
I'm back! We have been busy, and it is time to let everyone know what we are up to!
Chris was in a leave replacement position this school year. It was the perfect opportunity at the perfect time, and was the best experience possible for him this spring. But in our county, school jobs have dried up since most of the levees didn't pass this year. So we knew we needed to broaden our horizons. After Ethiopia, I really felt like we were ready for a change in our lives. So change, here we come!
Chris has interviewed and considered jobs in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, Nairobi, Kenya, Mt. Vernon, WA, Hillsboro, OR, Portland, OR, and McMinnville, OR. We have explored each of these possibilities in depth, and made trips to visit each of the cities (except for Nairobi!). Chris has accepted a postion in the Portland, OR area in a large school district. It is honestly the perfect job for him. If anyone who knows him was going to design the perfect job, this one would be it. Chris spent high school in the area, so it is a bit like going home for him. I, on the other hand, don't know a single soul there besides Chris' parents. But I have to say that living close to grandparents for the very first time sounds pretty good to me!
So we have been furiously working to get our house ready to sell. And praying it will sell quickly so we can make it down there by the end of the summer. We started with Craig's list, and it'll be listed on the MLS tomorrow. We are sad because this truly was our dream house. We did as much work on the building as our skills allowed, and every shrub, grass seed, and tree was chosen by one or both of us. The kids have spent the last 3 years perfecting their biking skills on our long dirt road with a bit of a hill. It has been the best possible place to have kids, which was our intention. SO - if you know anyone looking for a beautiful, peaceful place in Whatcom County, send them to check out our place at Northwest Retreat!!!
Starting over somewhere is scary, but we are hopeful that this will be a really great chapter in our lives. We will be done with foster care, and I'm hoping we can get Chris back into playing music regularly. Portland seems like a pretty good place for that! So if you know anyone down there, I could use a friend or two!
More news to come...
Chris was in a leave replacement position this school year. It was the perfect opportunity at the perfect time, and was the best experience possible for him this spring. But in our county, school jobs have dried up since most of the levees didn't pass this year. So we knew we needed to broaden our horizons. After Ethiopia, I really felt like we were ready for a change in our lives. So change, here we come!
Chris has interviewed and considered jobs in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, Nairobi, Kenya, Mt. Vernon, WA, Hillsboro, OR, Portland, OR, and McMinnville, OR. We have explored each of these possibilities in depth, and made trips to visit each of the cities (except for Nairobi!). Chris has accepted a postion in the Portland, OR area in a large school district. It is honestly the perfect job for him. If anyone who knows him was going to design the perfect job, this one would be it. Chris spent high school in the area, so it is a bit like going home for him. I, on the other hand, don't know a single soul there besides Chris' parents. But I have to say that living close to grandparents for the very first time sounds pretty good to me!
So we have been furiously working to get our house ready to sell. And praying it will sell quickly so we can make it down there by the end of the summer. We started with Craig's list, and it'll be listed on the MLS tomorrow. We are sad because this truly was our dream house. We did as much work on the building as our skills allowed, and every shrub, grass seed, and tree was chosen by one or both of us. The kids have spent the last 3 years perfecting their biking skills on our long dirt road with a bit of a hill. It has been the best possible place to have kids, which was our intention. SO - if you know anyone looking for a beautiful, peaceful place in Whatcom County, send them to check out our place at Northwest Retreat!!!
Starting over somewhere is scary, but we are hopeful that this will be a really great chapter in our lives. We will be done with foster care, and I'm hoping we can get Chris back into playing music regularly. Portland seems like a pretty good place for that! So if you know anyone down there, I could use a friend or two!
More news to come...
Saturday, May 31, 2008
HIV/AIDS and Us
So today there is something heavy on my heart. For me, this blog has been about sharing my heart and hopefully inspiring others to get involved with something that matters to you. But today, I am just really sad. And there is something we can do about it.
The numbers on HIV/AIDS in Africa are staggering. If you've been out of the loop on HIV for the last 10 years, I encourage you to pick up a book or two and get affected by what is happening in our world. Melissa Fay Greene's book "There is No Me Without You: One Woman's Odyssey to Rescue Her Country's Children" is a fabulous choice and you won't be the same. She writes on the political, economic, and cultural impacts of this pandemic. You will learn more about the disease than you thought possible. If you are more interested in a Christian's response to AIDS, then try Tom Davis' "Red Letters". I've just started "When God Stood Up: A Christian Response to AIDS in Africa" by James Cantelon, and I'll let you know what I think. My point is we should all know what is happening, because these are real people, real kids, real parents and grandparents. And they aren't that far away.
Chris and I contribute to AHOPE's orphanage for HIV+ children. The amazing thing is that America now allows these vulnerable kids to be adopted here. Adoption of these kids is undeniably saving a life. Actually, we save 2 lives with each adoption. For every kid that gets to come home to a new family and excellent medical care, there is a newly opened spot in the orphanage for another child who will definitely die without this chance. Can you think of anything you could do with your life that would more clearly make a difference for eternity? You may not be able to adopt one of these kids, but I have no doubt that you could support other people who can.
Today I am so sad because AHOPE has lost 3 children in the last 5 weeks or so. Since the introduction of ARVs to their care of kids, they haven't lost a child in years. They are devastated. And I think we should be too. In April a little 1 year-old girl came to the orphanage very sick with AIDS and died. In early May a 7 year-old girl died of complications of the measles. Then this week a 5 year-old girl died of a bacterial infection. A heartbreaking part of this last death is that she has a 10 year-old brother who is HIV-. He loved his sister very much and insisted that he would only be adopted with her. So people were working hard to find them a family together. Now he is completely alone, facing a much different future than he hoped for. My heart breaks for this boy. - For the loss of his little sister and the life that he hoped for with her.
But the thing that has hit me hard is that if more of us took the step out of our comfortable lives to make a difference in kids' lives who desperately wait, then this little girl and her brother could be alive and healthy together in a family today. One of us could be blessed with sharing and guiding their lives. We could be the ones to hold them in their grief, take pictures at band concerts and soccer games, laugh at their silly antics, and help them make decisions about what they will do and be in their lives. We could have been the ones to smile and cry with pride on a wedding day, and we could have been the grandparent someday trying to hide a smile as we watched them struggling to parent a strong-willed toddler. We could have been the ones offering support through all the trials of life and stopping ourselves at times to reflect on how in the world God allowed our path to cross theirs. These kids deserved that. And we have missed out. This little girl's story ended this week. Her brother's is changed forever.
Let's do something. At the very least check out some resources. The links are on the side of this blog.
AHOPE is the agency and orphanage working exclusively with HIV+ children in Ethiopia. They have an orphanage, and now run a community outreach center for kids who are able to stay with their families (check out my last post). There is lots of great info on their website. The American side of the agency is based in Washington state.
Chances by Choice is an agency that works to find families for orphans with HIV worldwide.
Many adoption agencies are getting involved with HIV adoption. But one of the leaders is Adoption Advocates International. They now have a staff member who is devoted to providing information and helping families make this decision. They subsidize a bit of the costs for HIV+ kids. They work with AHOPE and Kidane Mhiret in Ethiopia, and are working with China to be able to adopt HIV+ kids.
A new agency that I am so excited about is From HIV to HOME, and you have to check out their website. They are raising awareness, and have by far the best information on parenting a child with HIV that I have seen. They answered so many questions I didn't even know I had! They are also setting up funds to provide grants to families who adopt HIV+ kids. They have lots of ideas on how to get involved. So exciting!
I'm adding another one that a blogger friend just told me about (thanks Melinda!). It definitely looks great too! Go check out Project HOPEFUL. Lots of support, information, and hope from kindred spirits.
So we are too late to save the lives of these 3 girls and so many other victims of HIV/AIDS. But there is still time to do something powerful in the lives of the kids who are still fighting for their lives. At the very least let's all work to support the people working so hard to care for these kids. They need donations and financial support. Let's support the families that adopt HIV+ kids and give them so much more than medical care.
And maybe today is the day to explore that flicker of interest you have been trying to quench. Maybe you are one of those families...
The numbers on HIV/AIDS in Africa are staggering. If you've been out of the loop on HIV for the last 10 years, I encourage you to pick up a book or two and get affected by what is happening in our world. Melissa Fay Greene's book "There is No Me Without You: One Woman's Odyssey to Rescue Her Country's Children" is a fabulous choice and you won't be the same. She writes on the political, economic, and cultural impacts of this pandemic. You will learn more about the disease than you thought possible. If you are more interested in a Christian's response to AIDS, then try Tom Davis' "Red Letters". I've just started "When God Stood Up: A Christian Response to AIDS in Africa" by James Cantelon, and I'll let you know what I think. My point is we should all know what is happening, because these are real people, real kids, real parents and grandparents. And they aren't that far away.
Chris and I contribute to AHOPE's orphanage for HIV+ children. The amazing thing is that America now allows these vulnerable kids to be adopted here. Adoption of these kids is undeniably saving a life. Actually, we save 2 lives with each adoption. For every kid that gets to come home to a new family and excellent medical care, there is a newly opened spot in the orphanage for another child who will definitely die without this chance. Can you think of anything you could do with your life that would more clearly make a difference for eternity? You may not be able to adopt one of these kids, but I have no doubt that you could support other people who can.
Today I am so sad because AHOPE has lost 3 children in the last 5 weeks or so. Since the introduction of ARVs to their care of kids, they haven't lost a child in years. They are devastated. And I think we should be too. In April a little 1 year-old girl came to the orphanage very sick with AIDS and died. In early May a 7 year-old girl died of complications of the measles. Then this week a 5 year-old girl died of a bacterial infection. A heartbreaking part of this last death is that she has a 10 year-old brother who is HIV-. He loved his sister very much and insisted that he would only be adopted with her. So people were working hard to find them a family together. Now he is completely alone, facing a much different future than he hoped for. My heart breaks for this boy. - For the loss of his little sister and the life that he hoped for with her.
But the thing that has hit me hard is that if more of us took the step out of our comfortable lives to make a difference in kids' lives who desperately wait, then this little girl and her brother could be alive and healthy together in a family today. One of us could be blessed with sharing and guiding their lives. We could be the ones to hold them in their grief, take pictures at band concerts and soccer games, laugh at their silly antics, and help them make decisions about what they will do and be in their lives. We could have been the ones to smile and cry with pride on a wedding day, and we could have been the grandparent someday trying to hide a smile as we watched them struggling to parent a strong-willed toddler. We could have been the ones offering support through all the trials of life and stopping ourselves at times to reflect on how in the world God allowed our path to cross theirs. These kids deserved that. And we have missed out. This little girl's story ended this week. Her brother's is changed forever.
Let's do something. At the very least check out some resources. The links are on the side of this blog.
AHOPE is the agency and orphanage working exclusively with HIV+ children in Ethiopia. They have an orphanage, and now run a community outreach center for kids who are able to stay with their families (check out my last post). There is lots of great info on their website. The American side of the agency is based in Washington state.
Chances by Choice is an agency that works to find families for orphans with HIV worldwide.
Many adoption agencies are getting involved with HIV adoption. But one of the leaders is Adoption Advocates International. They now have a staff member who is devoted to providing information and helping families make this decision. They subsidize a bit of the costs for HIV+ kids. They work with AHOPE and Kidane Mhiret in Ethiopia, and are working with China to be able to adopt HIV+ kids.
A new agency that I am so excited about is From HIV to HOME, and you have to check out their website. They are raising awareness, and have by far the best information on parenting a child with HIV that I have seen. They answered so many questions I didn't even know I had! They are also setting up funds to provide grants to families who adopt HIV+ kids. They have lots of ideas on how to get involved. So exciting!
I'm adding another one that a blogger friend just told me about (thanks Melinda!). It definitely looks great too! Go check out Project HOPEFUL. Lots of support, information, and hope from kindred spirits.
So we are too late to save the lives of these 3 girls and so many other victims of HIV/AIDS. But there is still time to do something powerful in the lives of the kids who are still fighting for their lives. At the very least let's all work to support the people working so hard to care for these kids. They need donations and financial support. Let's support the families that adopt HIV+ kids and give them so much more than medical care.
And maybe today is the day to explore that flicker of interest you have been trying to quench. Maybe you are one of those families...
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
AHOPE's Community Outreach Center
There is so much going on for us right now. We are neck-deep in some major decisions. Hopefully I'll have news to share in the next couple of weeks!
But there is one thing left from my Ethiopia experience that keeps creeping into my heart, urging me try to put words to what is churning around inside me.
On our last day in Ethiopia, most of us drove over to AHOPE's new community outreach center to lend some of our energy to making classrooms beautiful. I'll back up a bit in case you aren't familiar with AHOPE.
AHOPE has changed and grown and restructured over the last few years. It was started basically as a hospice for HIV+ children, many with HIV- siblings who went to other orphanages to be adopted. Many people worked hard on behalf of these beautiful children. - Children who were dying from a disease that is now treatable in most of the world. AHOPE was able to get ARV medications, and everything changed for these kids. They are now able to have their HIV status monitored, and when they need medication, it is available to them. They now attend school and lead normal lives. Many of the kids are simply on a multi-vitamin for now. Chris and I sponsor a boy at AHOPE, which is one of the ways that the costs are covered.
Then recently America opened its doors to allow HIV+ children to be adopted. Now these kids can join families and receive excellent medical care. Many of the children who have been adopted here respond so well to the medications that their viral load is small enough that the virus is almost impossible to give to someone else. They are able to look toward a future as bright as anyone else's. It is a disease that is similar or even less of an issue than other chronic medical conditions such as diabetes or hepatitis. There are many other orphanages that also have HIV+ kids in Ethiopia, and other agencies are beginning to show interest in adoption of HIV+ kids.
One really exciting thing that AHOPE has started is a community outreach center. This is a place where kids can come for the day to go to school, get their medicine, and still live with the family they have left. In the past, relatives would have to make the hardest decision imaginable and turn kids over to an orphanage because they didn't have the means to treat HIV, and the stigma is still so huge. This project is allowing kids to stay in their family and community. This holds huge promise for the future. Hopefully the stigma around HIV will lessen as people see these kids living healthy, happy lives. The more kids that can stay connected with their families and get an education has huge benefits to a society that has been so deeply impacted by HIV. Adoption will always be only an option for a few. AHOPE is onto something huge here, and it was so great to be able to see it.
To respect the kids' confidentiality, no pictures of the community center are allowed, but here are some of our murals. The kids played outside while we painted, and for me this experience was a highlight of my trip.
Spending time in Africa, and seeing for myself how hard HIV/AIDS has hit our neighbors, was really hard. I believe wholeheartedly in adoption, and I couldn't be more excited and supportive of HIV+ adoption. But when you look at a country (and a continent) with your own eyes and see and hear the magnitude of the impact of this disease it is beyond overwhelming.
AHOPE's community outreach program holds so much hope and promise. My hope is that this place can be a model for how communities can respond to HIV+ kids all over Africa. Our world is losing millions of people to this disease. We have already lost too much of the middle generation. We have the ability to not only save the youngest generation, but to watch them grow, thrive, study, and lead their countries.
There are very exciting things happening, and many places that we can be used!
More to come...
But there is one thing left from my Ethiopia experience that keeps creeping into my heart, urging me try to put words to what is churning around inside me.
On our last day in Ethiopia, most of us drove over to AHOPE's new community outreach center to lend some of our energy to making classrooms beautiful. I'll back up a bit in case you aren't familiar with AHOPE.
AHOPE has changed and grown and restructured over the last few years. It was started basically as a hospice for HIV+ children, many with HIV- siblings who went to other orphanages to be adopted. Many people worked hard on behalf of these beautiful children. - Children who were dying from a disease that is now treatable in most of the world. AHOPE was able to get ARV medications, and everything changed for these kids. They are now able to have their HIV status monitored, and when they need medication, it is available to them. They now attend school and lead normal lives. Many of the kids are simply on a multi-vitamin for now. Chris and I sponsor a boy at AHOPE, which is one of the ways that the costs are covered.
Then recently America opened its doors to allow HIV+ children to be adopted. Now these kids can join families and receive excellent medical care. Many of the children who have been adopted here respond so well to the medications that their viral load is small enough that the virus is almost impossible to give to someone else. They are able to look toward a future as bright as anyone else's. It is a disease that is similar or even less of an issue than other chronic medical conditions such as diabetes or hepatitis. There are many other orphanages that also have HIV+ kids in Ethiopia, and other agencies are beginning to show interest in adoption of HIV+ kids.
One really exciting thing that AHOPE has started is a community outreach center. This is a place where kids can come for the day to go to school, get their medicine, and still live with the family they have left. In the past, relatives would have to make the hardest decision imaginable and turn kids over to an orphanage because they didn't have the means to treat HIV, and the stigma is still so huge. This project is allowing kids to stay in their family and community. This holds huge promise for the future. Hopefully the stigma around HIV will lessen as people see these kids living healthy, happy lives. The more kids that can stay connected with their families and get an education has huge benefits to a society that has been so deeply impacted by HIV. Adoption will always be only an option for a few. AHOPE is onto something huge here, and it was so great to be able to see it.
To respect the kids' confidentiality, no pictures of the community center are allowed, but here are some of our murals. The kids played outside while we painted, and for me this experience was a highlight of my trip.
Spending time in Africa, and seeing for myself how hard HIV/AIDS has hit our neighbors, was really hard. I believe wholeheartedly in adoption, and I couldn't be more excited and supportive of HIV+ adoption. But when you look at a country (and a continent) with your own eyes and see and hear the magnitude of the impact of this disease it is beyond overwhelming.
AHOPE's community outreach program holds so much hope and promise. My hope is that this place can be a model for how communities can respond to HIV+ kids all over Africa. Our world is losing millions of people to this disease. We have already lost too much of the middle generation. We have the ability to not only save the youngest generation, but to watch them grow, thrive, study, and lead their countries.
There are very exciting things happening, and many places that we can be used!
More to come...
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