ENOUGH

So if anything could yank me out of a work-induced hiatus from blogging, it would be the current media frenzy around Russian adoptions.

Yes, we have been busy, and happy, and enjoying birthdays, and I am working lots. But that is for another post.

Today I need to tell my thoughts to anyone who still checks this blog.

As the media, and probably much of the world, debates adoption, and American parents, and one-way plane tickets, and reactive attachment disorder, and adoption agencies, I have something else to say...

It is WAY TOO EASY to blame agencies, and bad parenting, and disturbed kids, and the ethics of moving kids to a new country. The adoption agency I work for has a policy against speaking publicly about another agency's situation. I agree with that, and I'll extend for myself that I won't speak publicly about another parent either. It is too easy to judge with 0 information.

I received a newsletter from RainbowKids.com and the editor Martha Osborne, has very insightful things to say about her take on the current situation. It is the first time I've heard someone put words to my thoughts, and she has pulled me from my blogging slumber to put my thoughts into words. Check out the website if you aren't familiar with it.

The current Orphan Count Number has grown to 163,000,000 children living without parents. So I want to see the media and the international political community voice some outrage about that!

Yes, there will always be orphans. Tragedy, accidents, and disease will always be with us. But in this world where some people get wealthier and healthier, there is no reason for this number to be growing exponentially.

Let's see some outrage about the fact that so many kids are living throughout the world in unspeakable institutional situations. The research has been done, fellow world. There are incredibly deep medical, psychological, developmental, and spiritual, lifelong effects of living in these places for the world's children.
We know without a doubt that housing children in large numbers, without adequate nutrition, minimal adult supervision and interaction, no chance to be outside, and no one who loves YOU, is BAD for kids and the adults they will become.

If you have ever traveled and experienced the difference in orphanage care you know what I'm talking about. Some places are okay for kids for a short time. The best places might be considered good places for a short time. There are many people doing their best to care for children with limited resources, and providing the best care they can. I'm talking about the rest.

So instead of judging whether international adoption is the "right" thing to do, or judging whether agencies educate parents enough, or whether parents should or shouldn't parent tough kids in ways you wouldn't parent your own, let's DO something for the 163,000,000 children who have no voice or choice.

Do your own research. If you don't like adoption, then make some changes in disease, access to vaccines and birthing medical care. Deal with extreme poverty, and stigma about physical disabilities, and women's rights over their safety, bodies, and their children. Spend some time in an orphanage - a "good" one, and also a "bad" one. Make the changes that need to happen so that kids grow up in families instead of warehouses.

It is a tragedy EVERY TIME a teen walks out of an institution into a world of crime, prostitution, poverty, and hopelessness. Many end their own lives, and the rest make choices no one should have to consider.

And then there are the kids who never make it to an institution. They grow up on the streets, or with their siblings in a village, or as servants to extended family. These children also face hunger, abuse, and hopelessness. Their walls are not made out of brick or plaster or mud. The walls that keep them from what they could become, are the ones that we continue to allow.

So yes, in this country of privilege and endless rights, people can make the choice to turn away. 163,000,000 might be too much to think about, so it is easier to blame and go on with life.

I don't think it would take the whole world to change things. Just ENOUGH people. ENOUGH people to say "no way, not on my watch, it is ENOUGH".

Let's figure out a way to get the world's leaders to care enough to make some changes. Disease, third world debt, education on what kids need and deserve in childhood, families to step forward and say "we're WILLING, and IT IS ENOUGH".

I don't have the answers to 163,000,000 childrens' questions. And at some point, I'll probably delete this post, and return to the role of adoptive parent who chooses not to offend for the sake of the few kids who might have a chance at adoption. But today I am thoughtful, and angry enough to say,

"ENOUGH!"