reflections on our first week

E.R. has been home with us one week now. I wanted to write about our first two weeks because I have followed many people's adoption journeys on their blogs, and then when their child came home, I was so curious to read how they were all doing. Seems the vast majority of people disappear for awhile as everyone adjusts. I now understand why! It is too fresh, too personal, too confusing, and some parts are too painful to share with the world. I decided that I would share what I could with about a week to process our journey so I could write with a tiny bit of perspective.

Toddler adoption is hard! E.R. is truly a toddler. She wants to do things herself, thinks hearing "no" cramps her agenda and creativity, yet her reasoning skills are not developed yet. It is a hard age under any circumstances. But then, for her, she is also just figuring out who we are. She is learning what our facial expressions mean, what the tones of our voices mean, if we are safe. All the things other toddlers learn gradually as infants. She is flooded with all of this catch-up attachment work that she desperately needs to be the toddler she deserves to be. That's challenging for her and for us.

The other challenge for E.R. is that she had constriction bands when she was developing in her birth mom's uterus. This is a totally random thing and no one really knows why it happens. She has several marks from it, but the most serious one is that her left foot wasn't able to develop properly. It looks a bit like club foot, but her foot is very small, without bone structure. So E.R.'s foot is on the side of her leg, and she walks on the end of her bone. This makes her very special to us. It is an integral part of the path that intersected her life with ours.

I haven't written about this yet, because I wanted to wait until she was here, so it is only part of her story - our story. This next week she will finally meet the specialist that consulted with us on her referral. We want more than anything to do what is best for her, and her life and heart will always be central in our decisions. I say this because I am still not sure how much info I am comfortable sharing publicly about this part of her adoption. I want to be open and hopefully helpful to others that may be considering a similar path. Yet I want to respect our daughter and know that she hasn't chosen to be a spokesperson for this part of her life. Also, I am not interested in anyone judging our family and the decisions we need to make. Trust that we will do what we feel God wants us to do and that we will be working with specialists to guide us.

So this week we worked on: eating new foods, taking naps and sleeping at night, riding in a carseat, riding in a stroller, NOT screaming for 20 minutes if a parent needs to put her down, warming up to cats and dogs, talking, walking, singing, dancing, and lots of giggling. And she REALLY likes to brush her teeth.

It has been an amazing week! At this point I am nervous because the screaming is definitely increasing. I don't know if this is something we will work through in 6 days, 6 weeks, or 6 months. I am praying hard it is not 6 years!

As I look back it has been amazing to ride this journey with her. Her first few days here in our home, she didn't speak, or walk. She crawled and watched us. As the days went by, and she became more comfortable, she started talking and walking. In a way it was actually like getting to experience some of her first 2 years on super-speed.

She is definitely beginning to love us, and to feel loved. She is kind, so funny, gutsy, super smart, strong (in will, heart, and body), and gives the best toddler hugs (with a little back-patting) that I can ever remember getting. She has come so far this week, I am so excited to see what the next week holds!

Thank you for sharing this adoption with us...