reflections on our second week

This week was so busy. We had 4 doctor's appointments in addition to the rest of our life. E.R. is blooming more every day. She has new words almost by the hour. She sings a lot. She is definitely screaming more than last week, but only when it is time to go to bed. She is slowly accepting "no" from me a little better as time goes on.

She is so quickly becoming a member of our family. And so much of it is by her initiation. We really thought she was going to be this quiet, solemn little girl that would take months to coax out of her shell. She is so different than we pictured. After clearing up her ear infections, she has become this truly joyful, funny, loud, gutsy little girl, who seems to truly LIKE all of us - even the pets. Chris and I have been shocked by how quickly we have all bonded to each other. I know people have been praying for us - for that specifically.

Last week I was with E.R. and J.T. in their room. They have a window that overlooks our neighborhood, and we have lots of kids on our street. It was a warm day and the kids were all out and we could hear them from inside. E.R. crawled over to the window and pulled herself up. She fell, so I helped prop her up against a little table. She peeked out over the windowsill to try to see the kids.

I watched her standing there and felt the tears start to fall. I realized that this is how her life has always been. - Watching the other kids do what she can't quite do. She tries so hard to get around and do what everyone else is doing. Walking for her is so much more difficult than anyone around her. She falls a lot. But she never complains, and never seems to notice that others have it easier. I sat there watching her and realized that if she wasn't here in America, in our family, this would most likely always be her life. Watching from the window. I knew that in my head while we waited for her, and it was a big reason why we chose to adopt her. But now that I know her, and see her personality, it hits me in a different way.

I grieved for days last November when we were considering her referral and found out that she would need an amputation. This is a decision I had never considered needing to make. I grieved again not very long before Chris went to get her as I began making her medical appointments. I wanted so much to be able to fix her foot so that she could keep it. I was praying about it one day - and I could picture two different girls. One girl was running, playing sports, walking with her friends. The other was laying in a bed, unable to walk or go to school, while her mom said, "she is very happy with her life." I realized that God wants me to be the mom of the first girl. To make sure that she has every chance at this life. Nothing should hold this little girl back. He has big plans for her, and her prosthetic foot may or may not be part of what she will do in life, but it will be part of her and her story.

That day at the window, I picked her up and we walked outside. She was soon surrounded by neighbor kids who wanted to meet her. She seemed to glow in their attention. E.R. is now part of our family. She will grow and learn and make her mistakes with us on the inside of that window, and we will be the foundation she needs to walk outside, tall and strong, to be surrounded by all that God has planned for her. I am so humbled that we get to be her family.